For me the Grail is something that is missing, something I need for total inner peace and happiness... but it is missing and I feel the emptiness it leaves. It is like I am always waiting,.... but I don't know what for! I am fairly happy, I have had to be strong in my life to get to this point, but I am here. I have great kids whom I am very proud of. I love my goats and my home. I have my art and Tarot and all my other interests. I am never bored. There is no material thing that I need.. I have a few close and wonderful friends, I have a wonderful family including the world's best ever sister. I live a quiet, fairly hermit like existence by choice, because apart from traveling, I have found no other lifestyle that I connect with. I want to travel but now is not the time, I still have little people depending on me. One may be bigger than me but he still needs me!! So with all this why do I feel something is missing? Why do I wake and wonder what my life is about? What is this missing link between me and completeness....?
This morning I was inspired to read with my Victorian Romantic Deck for the first time, using some questions I found on Rowan Tarot.
The questions were inspired by Chretien de Troyes' Perceval: Story of the Grail
1. What is the lance that bleeds
2. What is the Grail
3. What can be the candelabra to light my quest
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| Queen of Swords, Strength and the Moon from Baba Studio's Victorian Romantic Tarot |
Queen of Swords seems very appropriate for the lance that bleeds. especially this Queen of Swords with her sword jeweled with blood red stones. She looks wise, wisdom that belies her years. This queen looks like she can take on the world... in fact she reminds me of the Iceni queen, Boadicea who started an uprising against the Roman Invaders. Boadicea's country was what is now known as Norfolk on the East Coast of England. The very part of England where I spent the 15 years prior to coming to New Zealand. Mind you there are no mountains in Norfolk so this queen is obviously in another land... she does have the determination though, like she has to do it single handed.
This independence, having to cope, having to be strong has made me fairly tough, but maybe also too independent. I don't really know how to be with people or let them help, as I am so used to doing it all on my own. I find it extremely difficult to be feminine. She cuts through lies and bullshit.... with that sharp blade with no problem, it is not always easy to be this perceptive. She looks tough and unfeeling, but I sense a lot of sadness behind those eyes. Like the song by The Who. This lady is the lance that bleeds indeed.
Strength... After the Queen of Swords it seems strength may be a little superfluous! There is a woman in a den of lions... leastwise it looks like den, there is a grey stone wall which looks pretty indestructible and the floor doesn't look as if it is outside at all. The lady is dressed in red, a colour of fire and of passion, echoed in the sun symbol at the bottom of her gown. She wears a bracelet like a slave bangle around her upper arm. Her dress and hairstyle are far too grand for a slave of course and the bracelet could also be a symbol of her husbands wealth. But slavery can take many forms, and is not always immediately evident. No doubting the strength in this card, calm against the storm, a strength born of gentleness and courage from within. This lady knows she is capable of controlling the lions by her own inner will and quiet. The lions look as if they are adoring her, accepting her as one of their own. Reminds me some of Living with Wolves again..!
Seems the Grail is courage, to face things I find frightening, to find inner strength and to believe in myself and trust myself totally. With courage comes freedom, and this reminds me of a line from another song, this one by the Eagles Already Gone.. and one line on particular:
So often times it happens that we live our lives in chainsTo feel the freedom I want to feel, to travel, will take courage and inner strength. I will be trusting only in myself. I have done this before, when I came here to strange land with young children, and no one to rely on except me. But it is always easier to be strong for others than it is to be strong for oneself.
And we never even know we have the key
The Moon.... I laughed when I turned this card over! What card could possibly be more fitting to represent a candelabra than The Moon!! Except the moon on this card is hidden behind the clouds.
The female figure here is dressed in blue and combs her long hair, she is almost like a mermaid with the sea-like colours and flowing hair; the background is watery looking too. Her eyes gaze into the distance as if not quite of this world, but one beyond. On her head she wears the Crescent Moon of Diana or Artemis.. goddess of the hunt and the moon. She is a sorceress and a huntress, she is enchanting like the Sirens and she has magic in her comb. The tower high on the hill in the background may have been where she once lived the hermit life of Rapunzel. This Moon card is so beautiful, mysterious... I love it! I have no fear of lunacy, fantasy or illusions that the Moon can bring to mind. I welcome this card. the Moon is my friend, the Moon is my nature.
Be myself, look inside for my wisdom, and be the huntress of my grail, my joy. There is no need to be afraid of the dark or the unknown.
Hi Ragged Poet, it was interesting to see the Victorian Romantic in use. Like you, I often think of song lyrics when doing readings. Whatever's swimming around in our heads does tend to pop up then, doesn't it! I think it's marvelous.
ReplyDeleteQueen of Swords is my significator...I can relate to everything you said here. Thanks for trying out the spread!