On the first day of Christmas....

...... my BoGo gave to me ....

two swords and a blindfold... :)

Hmmmmm...... well I didn't see any ships sailing in so best take what I am given in good grace! I just love this card, and it reminds me of one of my favorites in the Victorian Romantic, the Nine of Swords. The two cards are very similar, with the woman on the rooftop, and  the closed eyes, or in this case blindfolded eyes.

Two of Swords - Bohemian Gothic

The woman stands on the balcony of a grand church, with many spires, below a starry sky. There are two sharp pinnacles atop turrets behind her, they have golden globes on each and pierce the night sky, like the swords. It looks to me like she is holding up a curtain or gown in front of her, and this is why her arms are crossed. She is blindfolded, but as she chooses to wear the blindfold then she must have good reason for it. She is lit up either from a light out of the picture or the moon.... I like to think its the moon. It adds meanings to the image for me.

The blindfold and the robe held up to cover her body say to me something like, I can't see you, but you cant see me either. I remember as a child believing that if I couldn't see someone then they couldn't see me! This lady looks very serene, no fear in her face that we can see. Is she waiting for her lover, and playing a party game? Its strange the blindfold and covering, yet standing in the full moonlight, instead of hiding in the shadows. Does the moon say that her blindness and body covering are illusory, no protection at all from whatever she is trying to avoid seeing?

The blindfold could signify denial of something she doesn't want to face up to, and likewise turning her back on those huge foreboding towers above her. Yet she is in the sanctuary of the church, which is maybe why she feels safe. Perhaps, like the vampires she is only able to come out and night. Then there is the blind justice aspect of the blindfold, although it doesn't really go with the crossed arms, they are self protective even if they are holding up her gown. Whatever the blindfold is for, it does tell us that she has chosen not to see the world, or be part of it, being out there alone... unless it is a party game after all!

Hmmmmmm.... so am I hiding away... I do hide away.... I do feel as if hiding sets me apart from the world, as if the world cannot see me. I wonder what I am afraid to see or feel....? Certainly the card has a strange air, with someone behaving rather irrationally, for whatever reason! Anyway I came out of hiding today and went to the beach with Polly and Phoebe!! Without a blindfold. Anyway as it is the party season I think maybe this card could be telling me to stop hiding and celebrate the season by joining in the fun and games... the stranger the better maybe !!!! Party time ;)

Enjoy the feasting... and if you are in the Northern hemisphere, enjoy the cool nights... it is sweltering here, and definitely not enjoyable, though I gotta say, it was great being in the sea earlier!

I received an email this morning from Creative Numerology which is a fabulous resource, highly recommended. I decided to calculate my year number for 2012... bit late I know but...!! As instructed on the blog, I added my month and day of birth and then added 5 (because 2012 adds up to 5), and came up with the  number 9. This is what the site says for my weekly forecast:

It will be difficult to prevent emotional movement now. Your feelings need to express themselves in order for you to evolve from an old situation. Everyone involved needs to be who they are – who they have become. This cycle of love, beauty, and relationship can be easily damaged by indifference, defensiveness or judgment, so try to create a peaceful and harmonious atmosphere. Let yourself enjoy the love and affection all around you.

Really this couldn't be more apt for this week. Emotional movement is unavoidable right now, no matter how I set boundaries and as a result  I feel quite vulnerable. I need to let this sink it and accept that I need to take extra care of me. This has been a difficult year where I have felt very disconnected from life and the world in many ways.  Spiritually I think this has been a good thing.

Jonothan Cainer wrote for my weekly forecast that I feel torn between the desire to please someone who wants me to ignore something .... and my own urge to face the facts. He advises being moderate and patient, for more information may yet alter a lot! I'll say.... sometimes I think that guy is a fly on the wall, but how can it be right for everyone born under that sign?

To add a little more info for the week I decided to take the Nine of Cups card from my Victorian Romantic deck (chosen for the number of the week we are currently in and the emotional focus).
The Nine of Cups is in the second Decan of Pisces and associated with Moon energy....

Nine of Cups - Victorian Romantic

 This guy looks happy with his lot. He is very richly dressed as if enjoying his best finery for the hell of it... as the Nine of Cups is about simple pleasures.  A warm air of hospitality is shown by his jovial appearance.... any beer left? Even if there isn't he doesn't seem to worried. After the drunken dreams of the Seven of Cups which I got earlier this week, maybe he has had enough anyway and is deciding to be moderate.
There is a little bit of a warning as Nine is also the number of the Hermit, who is alone, like this man.... why is he alone? Perhaps he is just happy in his own company or waiting for a friend. There is alos a temptaion for deception, being taken in, as it is influenced with that Moon energy

On the whole I think the week ahead looks good, as the Nine of Cups is often called The Wish card, I shall wish for the best.... being careful what I wish for of course in case I get it.....

Seven of Cups

Another delightful card from the Victorian Romantic... I am loving this deck more and more. Funy if I saw half these images in a book or gallery, I am not so sure many of them would catch my eye, but the artists who created this deck have done wonders with them. Bringing them to life as a Tarot Deck full of symbols and possibilites and magical pictures... well its totally transformational. Real alchemy!

Seven of Cups - Victorian Romantic

This guy reminds me of The Fool...... just by his appearance really. I wonder what he is doing. Is he using his treaures as bait to catch the fairy folk below the surface? He could have been taken in by the underwater creatures, for they could be like the Sirens who led men to their deaths crashed up rocks.
He could end up with nothing left, like the gambler who throws it all in against the big prize. Of courser with gamblers there never is a big prize, it is always just out of reach... that being the nature of the beast. Is he being taken in by the Sirens or is he fooling them? Are his treausures merely illusions which will disappear when they try to touch them? Someone seems to be playing a game in this card. If the fisherman falls in he could be caught in those tentacle things and trapped... drowned even.

I read somewhere that this card is sometimes know as Faery Favours... because like Faery gifts they could just be illusions which fade after time. There is much illusion as this card is associated with the Moon, and emotion of course... shown in the water. I just thought of being drowned in emotion.... deluded... tempted to believe that which is not true but only imagined. Very much a Seven of Cups energy.

Faery favours makes me wonder if I should turn to my Faerie Oracle for help.... or will I only become more deluded?! I do like this particular Seven of Cups though..... I like dreams... even if they can be only castles in the air.

Two Bags for Two Decks!

I was so excited about my  bags I received for my Bohemian Gothic Deck and Victorian Romantic deck that I decided I would share pictures of those instead of the card that I actually forgot to draw today. I did a long reading which kind of took my energy Tarot wise. Also today, I took my son and his mate to see The Hobbit, as it was released in New Zealand today. Hopefully my Hobbit deck will arrive before Christmas! I didn't watch the movie... not sure I could sit in a cinema that long, but Boo loved it. He thought it was much better than Lord of the Rings, and he knows those movies and the books extremely well. According to him they left way too much out of Lord of the Rings... including Tom Bombadil... unforgivable.

Anyway... I now have two *sister* decks with bags to match! I have loved the Bohemian Gothic since I first got a copy, and I tried to make a crazy patchwork bag in scraps of velvet and silks that I had, in a kind of Victorian style.... but then I decided I wanted to make the scraps I had sewn together into a cloth maybe. They looked so jewel like, and the deck does look really good spread on the piece I have made so far ...... so ...... when I saw this original Baba Studio bag up for trade I had to have it!

Bohemian Gothic Tarot and Bag

The Victorian Romantic second edition was only released recently, and I had no idea I would love it as much as I do. The bag for this is the Nine of Swords card design.... with a velvet back. Loving the velvet, wish the BoGo bag was velvet too! It's great to have these bags even though I am not really a matching kind of person. They are special. I do love to create my own tarot bags especially for my decks but its also nice to have some from special places... Prague in this case :)

Victorian Romantic Tarot and Bag

The Nine of Swords is one of my favourite cards in this deck, how she is out there on the edge, sleepwalking.... vulnerable and yet she is almost at the window. Will she wake before then? Will she make it? If you live life on the edge you never know when you may fall off, and yet it is this uncertainty that excites us. Even looking at this image gets my adrenalin going......  I don't think I will sleep with this bag under my pillow though... I am scared of heights ;-/

I am going to try using these two decks together and see how it works....... which will be the shadow? One would be inclined to think the BoGo would be darker,  but the VR has it's dark side too. Anyway, thats another post for another day.

Tuesday Energy

I love the word Tuesday, I wanted to call one of my children Tuesday, but the closest to a Tuesday was my son who was born at 10.33 on a Monday evening. Today I wouldn't need them to be born on that day to name them Tuesday, because now I don't need a reason to do things.... I like signs though... some kind of guidance is good, no matter how subtle.

So today I asked the cards what energy I needed..... for healing... I felt low....low spirits and low energy and I didn't know why.

These are the cards I drew:

Queen of Wands - Victorian Romantic and Two of Chalices from Ludy Lescot

The Queen of Wands is shown here looking very confident and self assured. She wears her regal purple dress with frills and bustle, but I cant help but noticing that it also has big pom pom buttons which remind me of clown suits! Another playful side is show by the mask she carries. This could show a darker side to her nature, maybe to wear when her passion rises, or is it something she has now stopped wearing as she has grown more into her true nature and no longer needs to hide it?

Her Wand is a large parasol in fiery orange and she wears a ribbon on her hat to match. So while passion may go to her head it also connects her to the ground. She looks at her people, knowing she is adored by them and in return they can trust her to be a true and just monarch. The blue of the hydrangea on her parasol is a symbol of heartfelt devotion.... its literal meaning, from the Greek hydro and angeion, means water vessel. It can be a symbol of thankfulness and gratitude... possibly given to her by one of her people. The sunflowers in the background are representative of adoration and joy.... there is a Greek myth about a yellow flower which is very fitting. From Squidoo:

Clytie, the water nymph, was in love with Apollo, the Sun God, who later became known as Helios. She would stare up at Apollo, hoping he would glance her way. But Apollo was in love with someone else and never did favor Clytie with his gaze. When Clytie realised that Apollo was never going to return her love, she sank into a depression and would not eat or drink for nine days but just stare with sorrow at her unrequited love. The other Gods felt sorry for Clytie and they transformed her into a beautiful sunflower which always followed the path of the sun.

 When in bud the sunflower does follow the sun, seeking the warmth and light...but when in full bloom they always face east, which is appropriate as the sun rises in the east, and so she would look this way for Apollo's chariot to appear on the horizon each new day. What a great symcol of hope and devotion! Also of course the Sunflower has longevity and is a form of nourishment, providing hundreds of seeds for food or oil.Wonderful flower to signify the qualities of a good ruler.

I need to seek out my truth and my light and stand tall in those things... obviously!

The Two of Chalices seems to support the message of the Queen of Wands. There is the connection with the water vessel and also a need to get in touch with who you really are. This card shows two people back to back kneeling on a bed. There is a trunk against the wall and a fishing net on the bed. The windows are clouded glass, so noone can see in, they have privacy to enjoy their intimacy.  It looks like it could be a cabin in a cruise ship, with the trunk and the net. The two figures have their eyes closed, they cannot see each other and are relying on feel, even as they share the wine between their chalices, trusting it not to spill. They touch blindly, giving themselves up to the senses. If this is a ship then that itself is a vessel and the net could symbolise that they are caught up in emotions I love this card.... I love this deck!

The Two of Chalices seems to relate to my nature far more than the Queen of Wands, but maybe they are both giving me the same message. Trust my intuition, be who I am, and be proud of that.

Searching for the Grail

.... Ah... but first we need to know what the Grail is....

For me the Grail is something that is missing, something I need for total inner peace and happiness... but it is missing and I feel the emptiness it leaves. It is like I am always waiting,.... but I don't know what for! I am fairly happy, I have had to be strong in my life to get to this point, but I am here. I have great kids whom I am very proud of. I love my goats and my home. I have my art and Tarot and all my other interests. I am never bored. There is no material thing that I need.. I have a few close and wonderful friends, I have a wonderful family including the world's best ever sister. I live a quiet, fairly hermit like existence by choice, because apart from traveling, I have found no other lifestyle that I connect with. I want to travel but now is not the time, I still have little people depending on me. One may be bigger than me but he still needs me!! So with all this why do I feel something is missing? Why do I wake and wonder what my life is about? What is this missing link between me and completeness....?

This morning I was inspired to read with my Victorian Romantic Deck for the first time, using some questions I found on Rowan Tarot.

The questions were inspired by Chretien de Troyes' Perceval: Story of the Grail

1. What is the lance that bleeds
2. What is the Grail
3. What can be the candelabra to light my quest

Queen of Swords, Strength and the Moon from Baba Studio's Victorian Romantic Tarot

Queen of Swords seems very appropriate for the lance that bleeds. especially this Queen of Swords with her sword jeweled with blood red stones. She looks wise, wisdom that belies her years. This queen looks like she can take on the world... in fact she reminds me of the Iceni queen, Boadicea who started an uprising against the Roman Invaders. Boadicea's country was what is now known as Norfolk on the East Coast of England. The very part of England where I spent the 15 years prior to coming to New Zealand. Mind you there are no mountains in Norfolk so this queen is obviously in another land... she does have the determination though, like she has to do it single handed.

This independence, having to cope, having to be strong has made me fairly tough, but maybe also too independent. I don't really know how to be with people or let them help, as I am so used to doing it all on my own. I find it extremely difficult to be feminine. She cuts through lies and bullshit.... with that sharp blade with no problem, it is not always easy to be this perceptive.  She looks tough and unfeeling, but I sense a lot of sadness behind those eyes. Like the song by The Who. This lady is the lance that bleeds indeed.

Strength... After the Queen of Swords it seems strength may be a little superfluous!  There is a woman in a den of lions... leastwise it looks like den, there is a grey stone wall which looks pretty  indestructible and the floor doesn't look as if it is outside at all. The lady is dressed in red, a colour of fire and of passion, echoed in the sun symbol at the bottom of her gown. She wears a bracelet like a slave bangle around her upper arm. Her dress and hairstyle are far too grand for a slave of course and the bracelet could also be a symbol of her husbands wealth. But slavery can take many forms, and is not always immediately evident. No doubting the strength in this card, calm against the storm, a strength born of gentleness and courage from within. This lady knows she is capable of controlling the lions by her own inner will and quiet. The lions look as if they are adoring her, accepting her as one of their own. Reminds me some of Living with Wolves again..!

Seems the Grail is courage, to face things I find frightening, to find inner strength and to believe in myself and trust myself totally. With courage comes freedom, and this reminds me of a line from another song, this one by the Eagles Already Gone.. and one line on particular:

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key

 To feel the freedom I want to feel, to travel, will take courage and inner strength. I will be trusting only in myself. I have done this before, when I came here to strange land with young children, and no one to rely on except me. But it is always easier to be strong for others than it is to be strong for oneself.

The Moon.... I laughed when I turned this card over! What card could possibly be more fitting to represent a candelabra than The Moon!! Except the moon on this card is hidden behind the clouds.
The female figure here is dressed in blue and combs her long hair, she is almost like a mermaid with the sea-like colours and flowing hair; the background is watery looking too. Her eyes gaze into the distance as if not quite of this world, but one beyond. On her head she wears the Crescent Moon of Diana or Artemis.. goddess of the hunt and the moon. She is a sorceress  and a huntress, she is enchanting like the Sirens and she has magic in her comb. The tower high on the hill in the background may have been where she once lived the hermit life of Rapunzel. This Moon card is so beautiful, mysterious... I love it! I have no fear of lunacy, fantasy or illusions that the Moon can bring to mind. I welcome this card. the Moon is my friend, the Moon is my nature.

Be myself, look inside for my wisdom, and be the huntress of my grail, my joy. There is no need to be afraid of the dark or the unknown.