Dreams without legs.....

I keep having these dreams, for about a year now, where I am trying to hurry to catch a plane or bus, or I am hurrying to run a away from someone or something, but then my legs stop working. It is the most helpless feeling, my legs feel like they are being dragged through thick boggy mud, I have no control over them, no strength. No matter how hard I try I just cannot make them work, and so I am dragging myself along. Sometimes the dream is in a dark forest when I am running and others in a very public place, and I am afraid of what others will think to see this crazy woman who keeps falling over, and then has to crawl along pulling her body by her arms over the ground.

I had this dream again last night, this time in a busy airport parking area, and I was rushing to meet someone, but had other stuff to do before that. I had been riding a motorbike, but then when I parked it, it turned into a three wheeled child's tricycle. It was as I was trying to park that my legs gave way.

I decided to consult my Tarot of Dreams by Ciro Marchetti which I have in the form of an iPhone app. I asked for a two card reading, from the first card I asked what this dream means, and I drew the Nine of Swords.... haha!! Yes well I probably could have guessed :) The second card I asked what I could do about the situation, why I keep having the dream, and I got the Ten of Wands.

Nine of Swords - Tarot of Dreams by Ciro Marchetti

I recently sold this deck, as I find it very hard to read with this art, not sure why.... maybe the borders being so ornate, seems to close one card off from the next in a spread. But if there were one card that could have persuaded me to keep it, it would have been this one. I really love this Nine of Swords, it says it all for me. Amazing it came up too as it is about this woman waking from a bad dream into maybe a worse nightmare of her own creation. Although she seems to be safe in a castle, she sees the claw hand in the branch of a tree, coming to get her. How often have you done that? As a child I always saw things in the silhouettes of trees through the window and the shadows of my room at night. I guess waking from a bad dream only enhances the sense of fear that throws the imagination into overdrive.

This card is about imagining the worst, insomnia, over worrying about the present or future. Feeling maybe that you want to wake up from your own life. Helplessness. Very applicable to the dream, it is our emotions that immobilise us, our worries and anxiety more than what actually is happening in our lives. I have had a lot of sleepless nights recently, because I try to avoid the worry merry go round, I play Sudoku or Freecell on my iPhone.... or I read. Just stopping your mind from thinking about life and concentrating on something single mindedly can help. Like taking time out from thought.

Ten of Wands - Tarot of Dreams by Ciro Marchetti

 
The Ten of Wands has a similar feeling to the Nine of Swords in this card.... like this guy has taken on more than he can carry. The weight of his load has brought him to his knees, not to mention his burning up in the extreme heat if the situation. The ten signifies a completion of sorts, but not without burden. The pressure at the end is too great, and although you may have achieved a goal, it is time to look at what it is costing you. I think this guy must have been juggling with these wands of fire, and the effort became too much, and they all came crashing down upon him and bought him down with them.

Very like my situation, where I have worked so hard and put up with huge amounts of stress and worry and despair, to get our residency in New Zealand. Now we have it I am realising that the last 8 years have taken a lot more out of me than I thought. Everything has been towards this goal,  and I would have given up years ago were it not for my older daughters. I brought them here, we made a new life and I owed it to them to make sure they could stay here in that life. Now I feel stuck and trapped, in a house that is too big, with land I can't manage and little or no help. It is easy to see whay this card came up. Easy to see why my legs gave out in the dreams.

On the first day of Christmas....

...... my BoGo gave to me ....

two swords and a blindfold... :)

Hmmmmm...... well I didn't see any ships sailing in so best take what I am given in good grace! I just love this card, and it reminds me of one of my favorites in the Victorian Romantic, the Nine of Swords. The two cards are very similar, with the woman on the rooftop, and  the closed eyes, or in this case blindfolded eyes.

Two of Swords - Bohemian Gothic

The woman stands on the balcony of a grand church, with many spires, below a starry sky. There are two sharp pinnacles atop turrets behind her, they have golden globes on each and pierce the night sky, like the swords. It looks to me like she is holding up a curtain or gown in front of her, and this is why her arms are crossed. She is blindfolded, but as she chooses to wear the blindfold then she must have good reason for it. She is lit up either from a light out of the picture or the moon.... I like to think its the moon. It adds meanings to the image for me.

The blindfold and the robe held up to cover her body say to me something like, I can't see you, but you cant see me either. I remember as a child believing that if I couldn't see someone then they couldn't see me! This lady looks very serene, no fear in her face that we can see. Is she waiting for her lover, and playing a party game? Its strange the blindfold and covering, yet standing in the full moonlight, instead of hiding in the shadows. Does the moon say that her blindness and body covering are illusory, no protection at all from whatever she is trying to avoid seeing?

The blindfold could signify denial of something she doesn't want to face up to, and likewise turning her back on those huge foreboding towers above her. Yet she is in the sanctuary of the church, which is maybe why she feels safe. Perhaps, like the vampires she is only able to come out and night. Then there is the blind justice aspect of the blindfold, although it doesn't really go with the crossed arms, they are self protective even if they are holding up her gown. Whatever the blindfold is for, it does tell us that she has chosen not to see the world, or be part of it, being out there alone... unless it is a party game after all!

Hmmmmmm.... so am I hiding away... I do hide away.... I do feel as if hiding sets me apart from the world, as if the world cannot see me. I wonder what I am afraid to see or feel....? Certainly the card has a strange air, with someone behaving rather irrationally, for whatever reason! Anyway I came out of hiding today and went to the beach with Polly and Phoebe!! Without a blindfold. Anyway as it is the party season I think maybe this card could be telling me to stop hiding and celebrate the season by joining in the fun and games... the stranger the better maybe !!!! Party time ;)

Enjoy the feasting... and if you are in the Northern hemisphere, enjoy the cool nights... it is sweltering here, and definitely not enjoyable, though I gotta say, it was great being in the sea earlier!

Two Bags for Two Decks!

I was so excited about my  bags I received for my Bohemian Gothic Deck and Victorian Romantic deck that I decided I would share pictures of those instead of the card that I actually forgot to draw today. I did a long reading which kind of took my energy Tarot wise. Also today, I took my son and his mate to see The Hobbit, as it was released in New Zealand today. Hopefully my Hobbit deck will arrive before Christmas! I didn't watch the movie... not sure I could sit in a cinema that long, but Boo loved it. He thought it was much better than Lord of the Rings, and he knows those movies and the books extremely well. According to him they left way too much out of Lord of the Rings... including Tom Bombadil... unforgivable.

Anyway... I now have two *sister* decks with bags to match! I have loved the Bohemian Gothic since I first got a copy, and I tried to make a crazy patchwork bag in scraps of velvet and silks that I had, in a kind of Victorian style.... but then I decided I wanted to make the scraps I had sewn together into a cloth maybe. They looked so jewel like, and the deck does look really good spread on the piece I have made so far ...... so ...... when I saw this original Baba Studio bag up for trade I had to have it!

Bohemian Gothic Tarot and Bag

The Victorian Romantic second edition was only released recently, and I had no idea I would love it as much as I do. The bag for this is the Nine of Swords card design.... with a velvet back. Loving the velvet, wish the BoGo bag was velvet too! It's great to have these bags even though I am not really a matching kind of person. They are special. I do love to create my own tarot bags especially for my decks but its also nice to have some from special places... Prague in this case :)

Victorian Romantic Tarot and Bag

The Nine of Swords is one of my favourite cards in this deck, how she is out there on the edge, sleepwalking.... vulnerable and yet she is almost at the window. Will she wake before then? Will she make it? If you live life on the edge you never know when you may fall off, and yet it is this uncertainty that excites us. Even looking at this image gets my adrenalin going......  I don't think I will sleep with this bag under my pillow though... I am scared of heights ;-/

I am going to try using these two decks together and see how it works....... which will be the shadow? One would be inclined to think the BoGo would be darker,  but the VR has it's dark side too. Anyway, thats another post for another day.

Swords....

I wanted a kind of overview on a relationship situation for a friend, so today I decided to do this as a spread instead of a Daily Draw for me. I chose to work with the Ludy Lescot again and I asked the cards to tell me whats going on with her as far as the relationship goes, and where she is at now.

I drew the following cards:

Four of Swords, Nine of Swords and Seven of Pentacles.

Four of Swords, Nine of Swords and Seven of Pentacles - Ludy Lescot

Today I am just going to read these cards intuitively with the given question and see what I get.

The first card, the Four of Swords shows a woman clinging to a cold dead knight.... she has laid down her arms after using one not to hurt him but to cut her own wrists. Her bloods drips down but he is unmoved. He grips the fourth sword... he still hasn't given up his need to defend, and he is afraid of being caught unawares... even in death.

The next card, another Sword, the Nine shows a female lying on the ground surrounded by swords, yet none are actually piercing her flesh.She clutches a cross, the last vestige of faith... this is her truth and her light, her very inner self, and that  part of her is still innocent and pure and unharmed. By retreating into her safe place she can begin to build up her life again from the inside out. Nothing can harm her anymore.

The third card in the reading is the Seven of Pentacles... I see a woman sitting by the window and looking at her reflection in the glass. It is like half of her has already moved to the wildness outside and the other half is looking back into the room, wondering if she should just stay put. There are seven purple roses lying on the stool by her side, but they don't seem important, more forgotten. Her dress is coming off her shoulders and this to me signifies the inner wildness of her wanting to get out.
I think the roses are a ploy to try and keep her there, perfectly arranged a gift of love, yet a tool for control. The reflect nothing of her true desire. She has seen the way to freedom from the bondage she has been caught up in for so long.... the seed is sown.... maybe this is just a last look back on what she once thought was what she truly wanted more than anything.

This was a very spot on reading imho. I like this deck a lot.