Christmas Knight....

Kind of appropriate to get a Knight for Christmas Eve... (playing on words here but that's ok , anything goes!), especially the Knight if Wands as it is quite a magical time of year.

This guy from the Bohemian Gothic Tarot doesn't look too much like a Knight in shining armour though, more  a self centered, narcissistic creature, with his red hair and finery.

Knight of Wands - Bohemian Gothic Tarot

In the background is what looks like a tomb, so I gather he is in a graveyard, maybe his eyes look so odd because he has been crying, but I am doubtful. He doesn't look like he has much emotion in him. His riding whip and huntsman's coat speak to me of a cruel streak, a charmer, or someone who will lie and deceive to get what he wants. Perhaps he is in the graveyard for no good reason other than to fake remorse at the death of someone close.... I don't think he is alone, as he seems to be looking out at someone. Maybe he just got off his horse to approach them, on their level.. another subterfuge.

He could have come to the family tomb to say a last farewell before riding off to new adventures, with little love lost. Already his eye is on the next adventure or conquest.

For some reason this card reminds me of The Devil card in Tarot of the Sweet Twilight... someone who is out for what he can get and see's a good thing coming.

Ok I will be on guard!!

The wood and graveyard though remind me of taking time out, quiet and solitude and destressing, away from the hustle and bustle of crowds and shops and car parks and pavements ....  yep its ben one of those days!!

Strength in the Shadows

Today's cards cover the energy of today and yesterday, as I didn't get to do a daily draw yesterday. I was trying to get some of my online work completed and Firefox kept crashing. I have tried everything but it is still crashing, have sent in reports but doubt I will hear anything. It's been happening constantly for the past 4 days, on many different sites. So.... I shall have to try either Chrome or Safari. Just checked and woohoo... I can get the Evernote Web Clipper for both these browsers :) I *LOVE* Evernote!

I feel very connected to the messages on today's two cards. From The Faerie's I drew Lys of the Shadows, and from Tarot of the Sweet Twilight I got Strength.

Lys of the Shadows, is a true light in the darkness, one of the Sidhe, whose energies can be used for good or for negative purposes. We as humans have the choice of how we use this assistance. The light coming from this faeries' person is gentle warming and healing.... which would give us a clue of the right way, but the Fey do not judge... free will is all, even when it goes wrong. All we can do is to shine a light on the right path, by example.

According to the book by Jessica Macbeth Lys of the Shadows appears when someone is ready to be healed... a lost soul to be found. Lys gets down among the needy folk and is not afraid to get her wings torn or her hands dirty, even though it may hurt her sometimes. In this instance I believe that I am being given the energy I need to help another soul in this world, whom I had almost given up on, to find the path back to who they were, before they got lost in the darkness. It feels far too big a job for me, but maybe I can help.  I feel this is how it is. I feel honored to have drawn this card today, when thoughts like this were already in my mind. I need that energy. Let me use it with the wisdom of the Fey. Thanks Faeries.

Lys of the Shadows - Faeries' Oracle, and Strength - Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

Strength from Tarot of the Sweet Twilight is the most wonderful card.... I think my favourite strength card so far. It has so many dimensions and truly conveys the meaning of strength as I see it. A woman faces a lion with his mouth open, teeth bared, she holds her mask away from her face so she is showing him her true self, her very inner being. Only when we are most ourselves, without pretense or pride can we be truly strong. Strength comes from a place deep within us, where the light is great enough to outshine fear, if we let it come through. So often I hear people who talk only through their Ego, not from who they really are, and I feel sad. It must be true bondage to be afraid to be you.

There is what looks like a very old stone Goddess figure in the background of this card, she carries two pots in perfect balance. She is the background, the roots of the strength of this female who looks into the eyes of fear without flinching. The strength of the female is in gentleness, not attack, in standing steadfast in the light of who you truly are. The Goddess shows the strength of women throughout time, the balance of energy. This wasn't achieved by trying to be like men, but by balancing their energies with ours. It seems so much of this wisdom has become lost in today's world.

One more character in this amazing card is Yoda ..the ancient wise Jedi Master from Star Wars. He appears here as an origami figure... another symbol of strength, the deceptive strength of paper, and a message that being small of stature is no judge of your true strength. The quotes below, from Yoda, all have a message relating to both the Strength card and Lys of the Shadows.

To answer power with power, the Jedi way this is not. In this war, the danger there is, of losing who we are.

When you look at the dark side, careful you must be..... for the dark side looks back.

To be Jedi is to face the truth, and choose.  Give off light, or darkness, Padawan. Be a candle, or the night.

The Jedi use light sabres as their weapons, to cast light onto the dark, it all just goes so well with these two cards and their messages. It really feels like they came up at the exact right time, just when I needed to hear this advice.

These two cards also strongly relate to something else that has changed in my life too. Especially the shadowy side of Lys, which is bondage and addiction. I used to drink almost every day, maybe a glass of wine, maybe a bottle, or a beer or two... never heavy stuff but escape all the same. The past couple of months, not only have I not wanted to drink, I haven't been able to! It makes me feel nauseous and very unwell, depressed and out of control of my life. I just don't need to escape from my life right now... gotta be good!

The Magicians' Song

The Magician from Tarot of the Sweet Twilight and Ekstasis from The Faeries' Oracle.... Interesting to get two cards numbered one and two in their respective decks. Could this mean new energy is beginning? Both cards are good energy cards, especially Ekstasis... so it looks like a good turn up to me.

The Magician in this beautifully jewel coloured card looks as if maybe he ended up where he is without quite knowing how he got there. His is surrounded by the cosmos and all her secrets. Also around him are his books of learning, his globe of worldly knowledge and his magical pentacle. A little green kitty holds the pentacle, he is looking at it as if wondering why on earth the human Magician would need such a thing! Pah! doesn't this dude realise that the magic is within us? Meowwwww... who needs shiny things! Especially when you have such an obviously clever familiar!

Although he has his wand, his sword and chalice and his cat has the pentacle,  all the magical and elemental tools of the Tarot, the only magical item the Magician is using is his crystal ball, and he is looking straight into the readers eyes as if wondering whether or not he should pass on what he has seen. Is the viewer ready to hear what he has to say?  He looks very kindly and humble. He has a feather in his hat like the Fool, but then of course the only wise man is the Fool. I like the Magician and the Fool both being represented in one card.

Ekstasis - The Faeries' Oracle and The Magician - Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

Ekstasis is the song of Unity, the higher being, and the connection between us and all that is around is. It is the moment of joy we feel leap in our hearts when we feel that supreme trust in the Universe. Ecstasy... this brilliant burst of pure energy that lights us and lifts us somewhere beyond this world.
A great companion to have around. This card like the Magician is about going for it, being on the right path, and a new beginning. It also has the effect of empowering the cards around it and intensifying their energy. The transition of the blues to sparkling silvery white is uplifting in itself and feel very calm. Usually when I feel those moments no effort is needed except to accept and to be. I see this card as permission  to be as me as I can be... with no apologies to Dr Seuss ;)

After yesterdays Full Moon reading about endings and cycles coming to a close.... it seems very auspicious that I get these two cards today which are so clearly about new beginnings....!

Full Moon Spread with Sweet Twilight

For today I decided to do a Full Moon spread instead of a daily draw, as the Moon will be full in about 5 hours time.... I wanted to catch it before it begins to wane. I used this spread designed by
Eowyn on Aeclectic Tarot, along with my Tarot of the Sweet Twilight.

Full Moon Spread by Eowyn

 ****2****
1*********3
 ****0****

3. What begins to fade away, to darken, to abandon you... or what needs to be.
2. What gets completed. What closes a cycle.
1. What can be seen with clarity, so bright that can even blind you.
0. Yourself. Shadow card, from the base of the deck.

Eowyn has the cards laid out one above the other in a line, but because I wanted to photograph the reading for this blog I laid mine out around the face of the moon with the zero shadow card at the bottom and then moving clockwise with the other three cards.

Full Moon Spread - Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

0 - Yourself. Shadow card, from the base of the deck - The Empress

For the Shadow card I drew  The Empress. I dont feel too much like the traditional Empress at the moment, but I can relate to this half submerged creature. She looks calm and balanced and actually I do feel calm, like the calm after the storm if not quite Venus rising from the waves! All elements are here showing no struggle between any of them... she wears fire, stands half in air and half in water and she carries the earth in her hand. Moon Goddess and Earth Mother, Fire Maiden and Mermaid!
I love her big heart shaped crown..... I definitely rule with my heart and not my head. I also see the water as emotions which she is rising from. Part of her is still submerged in emotions but she is holding her world out of the water. I can relate to this. The fishes all want a little bit of her.. or maybe a great big chunk... I can relate to this too. But also she is part of everything in her world... as I am.
Someone told me the other day how my children have taken parts of me just as I am getting new parts from them. We are one.

1 -  What can be seen with clarity, so bright that can even blind you - Death

Another Major Arcana..... and what a gorgeous card. The skeleton is so loving, and it looks to me as if he is carrying the sleeping girl away from the shadow of death which is in the scythe of the grim reaper behind him. he is moving away from the Moon and towards the Sun and the light. There is however a desert to cross, maybe he has done most of the journey and is nearing the end. The skull and the snake remind me of a print I have of the Mexican border... there are skulls and snakes there... Snakes have always been signs of regeneration and transformation and of course temptation. Skulls are a symbol of impermanence and even considered lucky by some cultures. Perhaps this skull is signifying the border, the edge, and soon the two will be out of the desert and moving into a new lusher country. I feel as if I am the person being moved on.... I have felt this for some time, I am not sure what is moving me, but some force is making it happen....

2 - What gets completed. What closes a cycle - Seven of Chalices

Two skeletons in this reading.... the girl looks at her reflection in the water and see's death, the death of her old self maybe... or the death of feeling....emotion... An emotional death.... again I am gobsmacked by this tarot deck. Behind her the future is lush and bright and life beckons, but she cant see that in her watery mirror yet... but if she looks deep enough she will. Is she looking to find who she truly is? Has she left the world behind for a while to contemplate who she is?

Death has one of the cups, it is just a reflection, is it something she has to leave behind ...something she can no longer touch, or an emotion she can no longer feel? That would work for me. Of course she could be intoxicated.... three of the goblets are empty and one is in the water... strangely enough I haven't been able to drink wine for ages!

The girl sits between life and death, which is where we all sit, all of the time, for all we have is now.

3 - What begins to fade away, to darken, to abandon you... or what needs to be - The World

Sadness? Will sadness abandon me? This is an amazing card.... the World is crying and the sun shines through her tears and makes a rainbow... the sign of hope. Stars are twinkling and the little person is standing on the Moon (?) holding up a bowl to receive the love and joy and sorrow of the world. Our planet. There is a flower on the moon growing up.... whats this? Life on another planet... is it showing that there is more than the earth that needs our love and care and attention.

Everything is here.... a cycle is complete with The World card.... there have been struggles and hardships but it is time to hold up our offering bowls and celebrate, be thankful for we have gotten this far, and there is much to live for.

As far as the position of this card in the layout goes... maybe what is fading away is that which is meant to fade away, the end of a major cycle in my life... what once seemed light and all there was to live for is now in shadow, and I can hardly see it?

There are a lot of deaths in this reading... I am definitely looking at changes, endings and new beginnings. But I have known this for a while. Three Major Arcana cards are pretty strong stuff in a four card spread! I will think about this more tomorrow. Time to watch an episode of Lynley!

A Devil and Two Friends

The Devil card from the Sweet Twilight looks familiar...  but nothing like my goats apart from the hoof maybe!! Gypsy can be a bit devilish at times though and one friend did call him a Devil Dog!!
I like his wings. The sun and moon are both in this card which could mean he can appear as total opposites...as like day or night, whichever serves his purpose best. He can try to charm with his Elfin ears and snazzily clothed side, but then when you glimpse the tail and the serpent around his arm you start to wonder. Sometimes we can only see one side of a person, no matter how much we try to see the whole, we see what we want to see, because we are standing too close. When we step back we see the whole picture, as others have always seen it. It can come as a shock. He has his trident at the ready.... the LWB says of this card:

The Devil watches carefully as you approach, scanning for chinks in your armor. What use he wonders, is this person, to me?

Yes I have met this guy more than once... stood too close, got burned.... but he never got my soul on that trident of his. I am guessing he is here today in this card, to warn me.

Friends from Froud's Faerie Oracle and The Devil from Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

The Friends from The Faerie Oracle are a total contrast to The Devil! Here we have Faery Nuff and Laochan the best of friends....! Faery Nuff stands up high with his many lights to show the way forward through the dark skies. Laochan supports him they both use their wings to power their flight. Just how friends should be. I have been spending more time with friends recently.... and they are a great support, and they do help shine the light into my life. I am not surprised the Devil is looking at them as if they and their behavior are totally alien to him. he just wouldn't get it would he?

Twilight Faeries....

This week I have chosen to work with Froud's Faerie Oracle, and Tarot of the Sweet Twilight.... I know I used it last week but I can't bring myself to put it back on the shelf yet.. it is such an amazing deck to work with, and I love the artwork.

Today I drew a helper and guide faerie called Honesty.....a wonderful looking character with eyes that see everything. His head seems to glow with enlightenment and knowledge while his body is almost transparent, apart from what looks like a silver cord joining the Chakra points. It seems he is about the inner being the pure centre of ourselves where nothing hides from nothing. Once you are stripped down to the core, only the truth remains.

This card tells me today, to be true to myself. It is a Monday, Moon Day and Honesty is a plant that is often called Moonwort because of its gorgeous round silver seed pods. I love the idea of Moon seeds and Moonflowers. The Moon can be about illusion and deception. I thought about this and how I am probably deceiving myself in some way by not being true to myself. Things have been foggy recently, with not knowing what to do about this house etc. Since I put it on the market for rent I have been uneasy, but I didn't really know why. Now I do know .... I don't want to give it up, or let someone else live in my home, I don't want to leave my goats ...it all feels so wrong! This helped me decide to take it off the rental market and look for a flatmate instead. Now I just need the universe to send me the perfect person :)

From Tarot of the Sweet Twilight my card is the Ten of Swords. This is one of the nicest Ten of Swords I have seen. It shows an angel or leastways a creature with wings, kneeling on a shore. She is holding flowers as if in offering to the lost ones who are buried in the graveyard before her. The swords are stood around in the graveyard like crosses on graves. One sword lies in front of her, as if barring her way.  There is a black bat like shadow behind her, which her shadow is joined to... she is nocturnal like the bat, a creature of the darkness......the twilight of the decks' name. Another way I can see this is the bats wings are actually her wings which are waiting to set her free, once she has laid to rest whatever is holding her down.

The card speaks of sorrow and yearning for that which is lost, but also of peace, it is a very calm card. She could be yearning the dancing statue on the grave, maybe it is something she has recently lost and she is bringing the flowers to make peace and lie it to rest. I can relate to this, I am going through something very similar. She could be mourning her youth, that carefree dance of no responsibilities except to have fun. I can relate to that too! All the crosses or grave markers have shadows. This shows me that nothing is ever totally gone.... even a grave casts a living shadow on the present.

Honesty - Froud's Faerie Oracle and Ten of Swords - Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

Something is changing, something that brings some sorrow to me, but also peace and ultimately a new dawn. It has come about as a result of being honest and true to my inner self.

Amazing Three Cards!

As this past seven days has been so eventful, in so many ways, I asked the cards to tell me the three important events or lessons about my most week.

I will begin with a purely intuitive reading from the images on the three cards I drew. I didn't keep them in any particular order of drawing so all have equal weight unless the cards direct me otherwise!,

When I turned the cards over, I found it hard to believe the accuracy of the images.... just like 3 snapshots straight out of my life!

Two of Pentacles, Eight of Chalices & Five of Pentacles - Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

Two of Pentacles

This card says to me that she is looking in that mirror and asking plain and simple...

"What shall I do?" I see birds as messengers and the fact that there are two of them shows lots of advice coming her way but she needs to make the decision ultimately. She knows that she is the only one she can rely on to guide her safely through the emotional turbulence she is in.

The mirror is magic so she is being aided from other sources than this world... her intuition is strong, the image it shows is clear and she needs to trust it.

The floating object in the sea to the right of the mirror looks as if it could be an island, if this is so then maybe its a distraction to take her from the path she really needs to be on.

She is hiding her talents in real life but knows she needs to show them off more.... I wonder if the red hat is a thinking cap... she looks very thoughtful!

Lots of questions this week, and I have been trying to ask what I want and whats best for me in the long run. I have been told by a couple of friends to concentrate on my well being.. and I have felt a strong need to really look and find out who I am now.... I have always seen myself as a bit of a loser in life deep down, but maybe others don't see me this way. Maybe that person in the mirror is me in my true light and power.

Eight of Cups

Oh my so poignant. I see a woman who is walking away with a lot of difficulty from a relationship that was just too unbalanced. The sun is setting in a red sky which says to me that the relationship is ending. She is still connected by the ends of her hair to the tree that is how she saw her lover. He is not attached to the tree, he never was, the tree was the illusion that he created to bind her to him. Her hair os growing out and away from him and the tree... growth is a natural process, it takes time for hair to grow that long, and there are a lot of tangles to be dealt with on the way. She looks sad but determined. She is emptying the cups contents... she doesn't need to escape into the wine anymore. She can see how big the world is.

The lover looks totally disbelieving, his hand is on his heart indicating pain. He is too shocked to feel remorse. She has really left him....  and he is left clutching his goblet of wine for solace. He is dark and shadowy and closed. He stays close to the tree of illusion that was him..., he is blending into it in the shadows. She is light and open one snip and she will be totally free.

There is a path ahead which looks clear, but she ignores it and is looking to the side.. distracted by the wonderful view... so there may be some indecision.

Well yes and yes and yes..... all this happened this week... exactly as in the picture on the card. Even the timescale for the hair to grow that long and for her to get that far away is about right. Amazing.

Another aspect I see here is that the girl is looking out to sea where her sister is far away.....  she wants to be with her, she is maybe raising the last glass to her (in which case it would contain Lindauer Brut Cuvee. The shadowy figure could be our Dad who was cremated this week. The sunset could be his.

Sometimes when there is a lot of loss... its hard to sort out what hurts most.



Five of Pentacles

I laughed when I saw this card.... after the other two it was unbelieveable that this could show. Most of my week has been taken up with the idea of traveling again. I have spent hours looking at buses on Trademe and talking to other travelers and being so inspired. I have had some wonderful exchanges and sharing with one special traveler who is new in my life.

The two chicka's could be me and any of the five awesome friends who have helped me so much this week... Chris, Pearl, Myk, Susan and my sister Debbo. I thank you all and am blessed to have you in my life.

They are flying their colours on their persons and their awesome hippy camper van! They have their bat wing kite to help them and if all else fails the two broomsticks are standing by at the ready. They have everything they need now to move forward. Even the dirty washing has all been done. Ready for a clean start. Fresh air bows through the windows of the bus, blowing the cobwebs away.

Just wonderful.... I have the best friends in my life, who are ever supportive of me, I have all I need to move on, the wings and the wheels and the will. I just need to decide which direction to head in...one half of me wants to hang on the the old dying life, that old black hat was comfortable. This new green one will take some getting used to.

What an absolutely awesome, intuitive accurate deck this is.

Eight of Wands and The Hermit

Swiftness and The Hermit......  The Eight of Wands is quite close in some ways to the Ace of Wands of yesterday. It speakers of moving now, to avoid missing opportunities. But it also is about doing things in the right order at the right time. I couldn't help thinking of yesterday's Ace of Wands from this same deck, with it's giant ripe apple. The little person seeing to the dead part of the tree could actually be doing things at the wrong time or in the wrong order. While she attends to the dying leaves (which are beyond saving....), the big juicy apple could fast become rotten.. we can only see one side of it...there could already be a small worm eating it's way in there. So the Ace could also speak of missed chances like the Eight of Wands.

The Eight of Wands from Tarot of the Sweet Twilight is unusual in that it has a person it in, albeit a tree creature! I love this card love how all things are happening in unison, like the perfect arrangement of the eights. Her look is focused on the other Wands of which she is the eighth, one small movement of her fantastical hands and magic will happen for sure. Already wonderful mushrooms are growing for her and the butterfly's attend the ceremony.... maybe helping spread the spores of the fungi.  They could also represent flying..... like in a plane... to another land... and a new adventure.. woo hoo!! I have been thinking a lot of travel lately. A very magical Alice type card which has to bode well for me at this time. Whatever magic it is I need to create. I am sure the answer will be revealed soon.

 

Eight of Wands and The Hermit

 

 

From the Silicon Dawn, I drew The Hermit.. another gorgeous looking card :) Love the colours and the sense of fun which are quite opposite the usual depictions The Hermit tarot card. This hermit looks rather like a fool, in jesters hat, complete with bells. She seems to have walked through some kind of barrier, maybe from a mundane world to a more esoteric place, where secrets are hidden deep, like the workings of these gears we see here. This hermit carries a light between her hands... or is it a glow emanating from her.. a sign of her new found inner enlightenment? I could of course be illusory ...a trick of reflected sunlight, or a flare from a camera flash. She doesn't look behind her as she leaves her old pad... is she ready to go back into the world or merely fancies a different and funkier hermitage?

I definitely feel the energy of The Hermit card, very strongly at the moment. I need to spend more time looking in, I want to know which path to take next and what I am looking for.... I need answers.
The 9 is a magic number in many mathematical ways.... it also looks like it is curling up into itself, like a primitive tailed embryo. I do feel a strong need for time alone at the moment, and I do want to understand a lot of things about me and life and why things happen as they do, how to change things..... I just need to keep looking within to find the answers.

Ace of Wands and Six of Cups

The roots of fire... and pleasure...

Today I drew the Ace of Wands from Tarot of the Sweet Twilight..... and the Six of cups from tarot of the Silicon Dawn.

Ace of Wands & Six of Cups

The Ace of Wands is a great card in this deck.... I love how the little person in the tree is so intent on
trying to deal with the dead leaves that they miss the huge juicy red apple behind them. Great illustration of how we can miss something really good in our lives by looking in the wrong direction and concentrating on that which is dying rather than that which is healthy and ripe and shiny. This card is about stepping back and seeing the bigger picture. There is magic and fire and earthiness in this wand. You cannot see it in my photo, but on the ground near the tree is a magic wand with a skull on top.  Little person could be looking for the wand, realising she has let her magic fall. The skull on top of the wand could also show us that there is magic in endings.. the magic of new beginnings.

This card is bursting with creative energy, and sometimes it can be hard to know which direction to move in, with too many ideas coming at you all at once. There is a need to make a change in your life ... it's time to realise you dream, follow your heart and your instinct. But first you have to find out what this is.

The Six of Cups in the Tarot of the Silicon Dawn is another card that is literally bursting with energy. It is a card of joy and pleasure and living in the now while reaching for the heights, This card shows a huge fountain of water, like a goddess rising from the ground that has been warmed by the sun. The water in the cups is spilling out with abandon, here in the now everything is abundant.

The hidden parts of your life are coming to the surface, feelings, talents maybe, things from the past that you once enjoyed could resurface. The water goddess here has pink bows about her person which remind me of children and the the easy joys and innocence of childhood. Childhood also brings naivety which could be a warning not to be too trusting of someone who may not have your best interests at heart.

I have very recently been concentrating  my energy on things which no longer work in my life or serve me in any positive way. I could be missing out on huge chunks of juicy apple joy because of this inability to let things die naturally. I do have lots of inspiration from different sources and end up confused as to which way to turn. As a result, one day life seems full of possibilities and the way forward seems very clear, and the next day I am back underground looking up through a wormhole where everything seems huge and impossible.

I can be way too trusting of some people.. and that trust has recently been proved to be misplaced. But I do have a pure way of seeing things sometimes, and tend to think others are like me. I do need some Six of Cups joy and pleasure and play in my life at the moment though.... been a long time!

I an thinking that the Ace of Wands may be telling me to see the big picture, and also saying its time to act without too much thought. No more procrastination! Looking at that giant apple again that is hidden in the background, a part of me wonders if the little person deliberately ignores it? Maybe she knows something about it that we don't.. maybe it is not so good as it looks, it could be an illusion created by the magic wand. Could it be that she wants to cure whatever is killing the leaves she is inspecting, to heal the tree? Maybe the BIG apple sapped all the life from the tree and that is why it is starting to die. This reminds me very much of a situation in my life right now.

Five of Wands and Judgement

This week I decided to use two decks for my daily cards, in one form or another, the Tarot of the Sweet Twilight and Tarot of the Silicon Dawn. Today I drew one card from each deck; the Five of Wands and Judgement respectively.

Five of Wands - Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

The fire continues from yesterdays King of Wands.... it seems to be building up in fact... if my mood is anything to go by. A burning for change. This card showing today is illustrating my inner conflicts, indecision, not knowing which way to go. I have several people telling me what is best for me, but I need to step back and work out what is best for myself.

The trouble is that outside of me there are all the opinions of my nearest and dearest pulling me different ways, and inside I have my own muddled ideas and half though out plans. There seems to be no clear way, like the creatures in the picture, they seem to be working together but actually they are not, they are either confused as to the rules or looking to see what each other is doing as they have no idea themselves.

It would be nice to have someone to work with to help me see things clearly, none of these gals seem to be paired up, but all leaving the *party* with a rather lost look. Maybe they came to the wrong party... and ended up more conflicted that they started. Anyway the 5's are often about change, and I feel change in the air. I need to fire myself up to maker it happen... and if it is not right, well.. I can always make another change.

Five of Wands & Judgement

Judgement - Tarot of the Silicon Dawn

Hurrah the sax is playing and we are awakened from sleep....jumping and dancing for joy.. come to the Jazz party and boogie on down.... Time for reawakening and to reinvent yourself.... you've had plenty of time for sleeping and now the big day is here...

All change requires sacrifice of some sort... the blue (bluesy jazzy boogie on down n dirty..) tone of this card speaks of some regrets maybe or sorrows... but you can't take everything with you or there would be no change ... no freedom ......

Kris Kristofferson wasn't joking when he sang "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.....'

Endings and beginnings... realisation that it's time to try something different, I been at this particular blues fest for long enough. Time to rise up and greet the winds of change... and I can bring some of the good stuff with me...

Its like I am literally being called out of the grave like those in the traditional Judgement concept... at least something in me is, something that has been lying dormant,  waiting for the chance to be let loose.... my Gypsy!!! Sooooo its quite apt, that before I drew these cards I spent hours on Trademe looking at housebuses for sale :)

King of Wands

I drew the King of Wands today.... and I immediately thought of some of the people who have inspired me over the past couple of days... just by being who they are, without trying. Like the guy in the card below... the dancers are inspired by him, even though he is not focused on them. Love wells up around them and they feel wanted and appreciated.

Meanwhile the King may have to think about himself a little, not overdo things. Take the inspiration and the good wishes and support on board and realise that you mean more than you believed. Know that you too can inspire others, merely by your energy and zest for life.

King of Wands - tarot of the Sweet Twilight

Whereas this King is all fire and go, and he is focused and forward thinking, I am not. I could do with being more goal orientated I guess. I do have some of his traits ... changing the world to suit me rather than conforming to the expectations of society. I have never been afraid to blaze my own trail.  I am compassionate to others. When I really want something to happen badly enough I tend to make it happen but am better at doing this for others than for myself.

I believe this card is telling me that I now have the power and opportunity to do something that I have been dreaming of for a while, the King of Wands is not a dreamer, he is the doer. I need to gird all my self confidence, make a decision and go for it!

I have people coming to look at my house tomorrow, if I do get a tenant then I will be inspired to take a very proactive step in the next stage of my plans.... no going back ;)

Weekend Reading....

Instead of doing a Daily Draw for yesterday and today I decided to to a three card reading using my newly chosen Deck of the Week. This week I have chosen Tarot of the Sweet Twilight. I intend to use this deck alongside Tarot of the Silicon Dawn, as that little lady is not ready to go back in her bag just yet!

I was feeling confused and unsettled, so asked the cards to tell me What, Where and Why....

Where am I at this weekend?

Why am I where I am?

What do I need in my life now?

Three Card Spread with Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

Where am I at this Weekend?  - The Magician

This guy looks  a little doubtful under his pointed hat. he has everything he needs on the table before him, to make his magic. Even the heavens look pretty willing to oblige. So what is missing?

I know exactly how he feels .... I have all the parts I need but I am not sure how to put them together, whether I have the strength to put them together... or what I actually want to do with them anyway! All I do know is that something has to change for my own well-being!

Why am I where I am? - Six of Pentacles

I think the six of pentacles makes it pretty clear why I am feeling like this. I am feeling used, unappreciated, by several people in my life, and this card is about charity, and balance...giving and receiving. Two sides of the same coin. I seem to be doing an awful lot of giving and complying to others wishes, and get little thanks in return. In fact in one instance all, I have gotten back for all my continual giving, is abuse.

I need to stop condoning a certain behaviour, as my close friend told me yesterday. By accepting ill treatmet and allowing it to carry I am actually implying that is is ok. It is very definitely not ok when one does all the giving and the other does all the taking, it is unbalanced and unhealthy.

What do I need in my life now? - Ten of Cups

Hahahaha! That's quite funny.... sure we all want and need a ten of cups in our life!! I am thinking that I need to follow my joy... this is a card about everything being and feeling right, all things being blessed and harmony and balance with those in your life and your surroundings.I did see a little of this this evening, I felt extremely blessed by loving friends and and this wonderful time came about by my following my heart for once, and doing what I really wanted to do! Now I must do it more often :)