First Footing....

This morning I received an email from Tarosophy advertising a new course called Tarot Life. The course runs for 12 months and each month is accompanied by an instruction booklet available on Kindle or as a PDF. I have been looking for a Tarot study for the New Year and this seems perfect. I have purchased the book and worked out the initial steps.. very exciting. I will use my blog to record my results now and then and keep ypou updated with how its going. Even if noone ever reads my blog, it can keep me updated and act as a reminder... well, in theory!

So its the last day of 2012. This time last year I was about to leave the UK and return to New Zealand. I was not happy about that. I looked forward to seeing my home again and my older girls and my goats and cats, but leaving my mum and my sister and Dilly my best friend, was not easy. Not to mention leaving the cool winter weather for the humid heat of Nelson. I have no idea where we were at new Year, what time zone we were crossing, it went by unnoticed, although I was awake the whole 26 hours we were in the air. I do remember the airport staff at Heathrow were lenient with our extra hand baggage, as a salute to the season though, so that was nice!

Today, reflecting on the year I thought I would devise a 3 card spread to give me a snapshot of this past year. I have called it First Footing after the custom in Scotland, my Motherland.

The spread was designed to show where we excelled in our life journey and personal growth in the past year, what we want or need to leave behind, and what we should pack in our rucksack to take with us when we go first footing!


First Footing Spread


1****2****3


1. What you will leave behind in your footprints as you leave the old year
2. Your biggest path of growth this past year
3. What you will take with you as you step into the new year 

So... these are the cards I drew for this spread. I used my Deviant Moon deck as it was one of my most used this year, especially in the first half of the year :)

5 of Pentacles, 9 of Pentacles & The Tower from Deviant Moon Tarot

 

1. What you will leave behind in your footprints as you leave the old year - Five of Pentacles


Leaving behind hardship and poverty seems like a good thing to me! Although this card seems to be about judgement from how I see it. The watching eye in the church, the female character sneaking around, as if ashamed to be seen. Also the Judgement card is number eleven and I cant help but see the two chimneys as an 11. The poor naked creature appears to be bathed in moonlight from her colour, which brings to mind Diana, the Moon goddess, who was also a goddess of chastity. She was also a patron of slaves, and they would always be given sanctuary in her temples. Interesting, so she could be seeking sanctuary, from judgement, the undeserved judgement of society who shunned her, because they only saw what they wanted to see. Far from a loose woman she could be running from the rape of society.

All these things are good things to leave behind, there has been judgement, but the strongest judgements have been self imposed... as they say, we are our own worst judges!


2. Your biggest path of growth this past year - Nine of Pentacles

This is a funny old card.... nine different Pentacles  hang in the sky, the masked creature is chained to a small skull that looks like it came from a gravestone... could this be mortality? The earthly life. And those Pentacles could symbolise riches in heaven, or in the spiritual world rather than the physical. She has had some setbacks in life, with no arms, and the loss of one foot. But the foot has been replaced by a wheel, which will enable her to move faster maybe. Kind of a built in scooter! In spite of her Venetian style carnival mask and lack of limbs, she does have an air of confidence. Her dress looks well made but with the moon buttons this could be illusion, like everything is not what it seems.
She may look well dressed and bodily incomplete, but she is actually more whole than many, as she is rich in spirit . Her mask could symbolise her lack of presence in the material world and like the moon carved into the stone she walks on, this turns the traditional meaning of the card on its head rather. Her robe could actually be that of a holy or spiritual order, and the mask be her veil, sheilding her from the eyes of the world. No arms could be a way of showing that she reaches out with her soul for wealth rather than grasps with her hands at happiness in material wealth. I see this card here, as being about the importance of enlightenment and spiritual growth.

Also of interest is that 2012 for me has been a 9 year, and the card is a 9....this could signify that the spiritual development that started this year will go on to become stronger in 2012


3. What you will take with you as you step into the new year  - The Tower

Here I see the breakdown of illusion, and falsehoods. The moonlight is burning through the tower causing it to begin its collapse. The tower itself is actually very small, and so the falling man could actually be in a dream or an Alice in Wonderland kind of world. Perhaps the moons light has set him free from the tower, and although it had seemed a huge thing, we now see how small is actually is. Like the line from the Eagle's song, Already Gone which I have quoted before:

"So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
 And we never even know we have the key "

Self imposed imprisonment has come to an end, and it may feel like you are falling and losing security but actually you are gaining freedom from a prison that was way too small and confining to fit who you really are. The other guy lying down could be the prisoner who is now being put to rest, .... he could represent self criticism, judgement..... like in the first card....Makes sense!

A very blessed and wonderful 2013 to you all......

Thanks 2012.. for everything.

A Gothic Moon

It was quite appropriate to get this card today, as we have just had the full moon, she being blown around in a stormy sky. First thought on studying this card was that the moon lady with her crescent headdress makes me think of  Cerridwen, Celtic goddess of the moon, who had a wolf as a companion, just like this lady in the card.

The Moon - Bohemian Gothic

The Wolf rules winter from Samhain to Imbolc and the Celtic word for February (when Imbolc is celebrated in the Northern Hemisphere), is Faoilleach, which translates as Wolf Month. Imbolc is also known as St Brides Day which is another name for Brighid the Celtic triple Goddess of healing, poetry and blacksmiths. Brighid, like Cerridwen also had a wolf friend. In St Johns church in Glastonbury there is a beautiful stained glass window which features St Bride and her wolf companion, they are shown minding sheep, which are pictured in the next adjacent pain of glass. Sheep and wolves!

The Moon is a a card with a nature as slippery as her watery element, she can enchant and confuse. The woman's face here looks confused to me and a little worried, unsettled I felt a little like this today, but that is what the full moon does to me, she being my ruling planet. Of course her mood could be in tune with the melancholy sound of the howling wolf, or the pipes of the Pan God who sits on a rock by the water. She has turned away from the town in the distance and looks into the dark, as a mirror, seeing what is on the inside, or maybe the past and the future, trying to work  them out.  Moon's ability to create illusion makes one wonder just what is real and what isn't, and even if it really matters.

The wolf howls freely in the night, by day he is shy and hides away, at nighttime enchanted by the Pan Pipes we can follow a path very different to the one we tread by day. Night changes our mood and behaviour, like the werewolves I believe our characters change in the dark hours. We are wilder, free to be more of who we are, to explore our deeper darker nature.

I have always been a creature of the dark.... and the cold months... I can really relate to the image on this card, what a fabulous Moon she is!

The High Priestess

I have been feeling more at peace with myself recently, less likely to become stressed or feel guilty for things I shouldn't feel guilty about. I was thinking about this earlier, and so when I did my daily draw I asked what was the best advice the cards could give me to help me maintain  and even add to this feeling of all being pretty much well in my world.

I shuffled the Bohemian Gothic and randomly cut a few times. The card I turned over was The High Priestess.

If I stick to the traditional RWS meanings this makes a lot of sense, even reading it intuitively I come up with similar stuff. Amazing card that lead me on quite a journey through ancient alchemy and the discovery of Colloidal Gold and it's use in medicine, to old buildings in Prague and the use of white gloves in the Catholic church.

The High Priestess is covered in rich robes in the colours of the four elements. She is protected by the robes and the elements. On her hands she wears white gloves, in the Catholic church these white gloves are only ever worn by a conductor of ceremony, usually the Priest or maybe even The Pope. In her gloved hand she holds a vial on a stand, filled with rosy coloured liquid, it coud be blood, or wine that has been blessed, but I think it is Colloidal Gold, used by alchemists and scientists over time for healing and enhanced intelligence. A side effect of this chemical is a grey or pale mauve palor to the skin, this would explain the unreal, vampire like color of her face.

This robed Priestess sits between two old stone pillars topped with skulls. One is lit up by the last rays of the sun but the other has already fallen into shadow.  The town in Bohemia where these pillars stand, also houses the Bone Church. Home to the bones of 40,000 human skeletons, this chapel is dark and painful and yet beautiful, the art is exquisite. These people mainly died of the plague, but the chapel seems to honor those lives and show that they belong in higher places. Who knows what spiritual transformations can be brought about when one is surrounded by death and has only death for a future.

It feels like she stands before a gateway to whatever is beyond, and like with the Sphinx, unless you have the right skills you cannot pass her. The light is behind her so I am thinking that you need to get those skills in order to move forward, get past the darkness of the columns and move into into the light. Perhaps you need to partake of that liquid first, Elixir of Life. Only we can know what our particular elixir is.... I think to solve the riddle we need to find it.

And that answers my question :)

Two of Swords again....!

Today I got the Two of Swords again, from the same Bohemian Gothic Tarot. I shuffled well and counted through to 28 (todays date), and up it came. As I had already gotten it 3 days ago I decided to ask the cards why... whats the message? I drew the Six of Cups in answer.

Two of Swords & Six of Cups - Bohemian Gothic Tarot

So.... if the two of Swords shows blind instinct and the Six of Cups shows innocence, then I see this as a time to go back to basics, simple blind, childlike faith.. and intuition.

I think the Six of Cups has a shadowy side for definite..... and this is a Sun influenced card to balance the Moon influence on Two of Swords.. Both images on the cards seem to be set in the darker hours of the day though. I would say the Six of Cups is early morning. Maybe these two are sneaking out before anyone else is awake, as they know what they are doing is against someone's rules. This card could also be something like "make hay while the sun shines....". It has the children and they look a couple of rascals, it also has the blue flowers which I see as Morning Glory, and these signify the shortness of mortal life, as their own life is less than one day.

They are in a graveyard, so have lost someone, maybe their mother, but she wants them to carry on and enjoy life while they have it. The buildings in the background make me think of turning ones back on authority, and grown up rules. Its time to play.

There is of course a warning though, from the Two of Swords, to look before you decide which path to take. If I had to choose a song for this card I think I would choose this.

Who art thou Redcrosse Knight....?

Today I drew The Knight of Cups from the Bohemian Gothic.... a very dark looking card colourwise, darker than most, you really need to get into the light with a magnifying glass to see the detail in any way.

Knight of Cups - Bohemian Gothic Tarot

 The first detail I noticed on the card was the horned devil character carved into the stone of the castle wall. At first I thought it was a Green Man effigy, but when I took out my magnifying glass (a very useful Christmas gift...), I saw the horns and also it looks like his tongue is in two halves, or forked. So this dude could be escaping from the devil in order to bring something precious, back to its rightful place. He could indeed be a good guy like the traditional knight of cups.

He looks like he is not quite hurrying away, but there is some haste, he holds his arm up as if to show victory....showing off his trophy (which could represent the Holy Grail, as it is a kind of Chalice but has a devil on top by the looks of it), maybe he is holding it up to someone out of the card.. a crowd even?  Could it be devils blood, the elixir of eternal youth? Or eternal Vampirism...... Was the cross to protect him from the likes of Dracula in that dark castle?

The portcullis is raised so they haven't resisted his escape, unless they had no time. Looks like he entered the castle courtyard by nightfall, but surely the hooves of his horse would have been heard. He looks sinister and a bit sneaky, but he has no weapon I can see except this chalice. I think this goblet or its content has great power.

I originally connected the red crosses with those of the crusades and the Templars but their red cross was always on a white background.... that this is on a dark background makes me wonder if he is on the side of the shadows.

There is a Redcrosse Knight  in the Faerie Queen poem... written by Spenser in 16th Century... He was also called the knight of holiness. Like St George (who also had a red cross) he fought a dragon like monster and killed it. He had a lady who was in love with him called Una which means truth, but I am thinking maybe he fought for love of the Faerie Queen... Elizabeth. He was a Christian, Una means truth, and I think she was the symbol of the true faith in the poem. At one point an adversary of the Redcrosse knight uses faerie magic to change a sprite into a false Una and so try to lead the knight astray. When the real Una found he was gone she was bereft. I wonder if this is mean't to be Spenser's knight?  It seems to cross a bit with legends of Lancelot and Guinevere and Arthur in some places too. I must read it again someday but as it is written in old English it takes some time to translate!

The horse has a Fleur de Ly's on its collar, usually associated with the French but also popular in much heraldry and royal coats of arms throughout Europe. Both horse and rider are covered in armour, and heraldic drapes, only the eyes show, but those being the windows of the soul, maybe that is all we need to see... in a Knight of Cups......

I think though he knows no one will come after him, he may have sold his soul to the devil in order to get that grail, and that's why his eyes are so empty looking.... Even his horse looks disapproving. The grail as we know caused men to burn in fever. The light leaves his immediate path lit but all else in shadow, like a light between worlds of darkness. But what is the light, has he been enlightened?

I see little romance about this knight, and not too much emotion either, but maybe he is doing it all for love as did Lancelot.... so dangerous because he represents the threat of stealing your heart, and love and possibly taking you to a dark place. Looks like he will stop at nothing to get what he wants anyway.

Hmmmmm I guess he is the kind of guy I get attracted to come to think of it....

Well that was a lot of stuff to come at me in a short time as regards this card. I think I will just watch out for men wearing red crosses, and bearing silver goblets. Especially if they are heralded by the ghost of a dragon or followed by a creature with a forked tongue!

Still..... two knights in shining armour, in a couple of days..... can't be too bad I suppose!

The Feast of Stephens...

When I was a child the sales didn't start until January, after New Year... which I thought was too soon! Now people queue from late Christmas day, drawn in by the promise of 50% off something that they probably didn't need or even want in the first place. It is consumer madness, but today I shopped...the first day I have ever actually shopped on Boxing Day. I went in late to pick up my sons laptop which was his Christmas gift, but was out of stock before. I didn't do the sales, but as I avoid unnecessary trips to  town and had to take Polly home, it seemed opportune. Even at the end of the day I had to queue!!

I really would like the world to just close for a few days, at some time of year....so it is a real holiday from the madness of everyday life. I know we have some great things today that make communication easier, but sometimes I think they act as a barrier and far more folk live in isolation ... at least physically. I guess the grass is always greener, but now, for a wee while I am going back to the Victorian romance of the Bohemian Gothic tarot. Today I drew another 2... the Two of Wands.

Two of Wands - Bohemian Gothic

This card is another with many stories. The castle ruins have two tall buildings like the pinnacles in yesterdays two of swords, these could represent the two wands although I can't help but see the staff that the man is carrying as a wand. So what is their story?

The sky is full of ravens or crows, they carry messages between the worlds. I believe the woman in this card is actually a ghost or spirit, maybe related to the man, maybe just a shadow from the past. She looks sorry to leave this place, maybe she comes back every evening as the sky darkens, heralded by the crows as they fly home to roost at the end of the day.

Maybe the man came to see her, and missed her, because he turned away too soon or was looking in the wrong direction all along. Perhaps she is sorry that he can't see her, because she wants to give him a message, so she can finally rest. He looks like he has accepted the mundanity of everyday life, yet if only he would turn around, he would find that all is not as dull as it seems!

I see the ghost as me, leaving the old year behind, leaving the cycle behind to start a new one. This was a 9 year for me and next year will be a 1 year. The final forecast for 2012 from Creative Numerology, reads:

Your present reality is your only doorway to the future, and that sense of urgency you’re feeling is probably a desire to conclude something and finally put it behind you. Only you can know if this is the right time to do so. What seems unacceptable now may change into something more loving or useful next year, so don’t act or speak impulsively. Wish yourself – and others – only the best.

I think this is reflected in both yesterdays and today's "2" cards. Reality as opposed to blindness, and shadows, new life not ruins. Changing energies in the world around us.

On the first day of Christmas....

...... my BoGo gave to me ....

two swords and a blindfold... :)

Hmmmmm...... well I didn't see any ships sailing in so best take what I am given in good grace! I just love this card, and it reminds me of one of my favorites in the Victorian Romantic, the Nine of Swords. The two cards are very similar, with the woman on the rooftop, and  the closed eyes, or in this case blindfolded eyes.

Two of Swords - Bohemian Gothic

The woman stands on the balcony of a grand church, with many spires, below a starry sky. There are two sharp pinnacles atop turrets behind her, they have golden globes on each and pierce the night sky, like the swords. It looks to me like she is holding up a curtain or gown in front of her, and this is why her arms are crossed. She is blindfolded, but as she chooses to wear the blindfold then she must have good reason for it. She is lit up either from a light out of the picture or the moon.... I like to think its the moon. It adds meanings to the image for me.

The blindfold and the robe held up to cover her body say to me something like, I can't see you, but you cant see me either. I remember as a child believing that if I couldn't see someone then they couldn't see me! This lady looks very serene, no fear in her face that we can see. Is she waiting for her lover, and playing a party game? Its strange the blindfold and covering, yet standing in the full moonlight, instead of hiding in the shadows. Does the moon say that her blindness and body covering are illusory, no protection at all from whatever she is trying to avoid seeing?

The blindfold could signify denial of something she doesn't want to face up to, and likewise turning her back on those huge foreboding towers above her. Yet she is in the sanctuary of the church, which is maybe why she feels safe. Perhaps, like the vampires she is only able to come out and night. Then there is the blind justice aspect of the blindfold, although it doesn't really go with the crossed arms, they are self protective even if they are holding up her gown. Whatever the blindfold is for, it does tell us that she has chosen not to see the world, or be part of it, being out there alone... unless it is a party game after all!

Hmmmmmm.... so am I hiding away... I do hide away.... I do feel as if hiding sets me apart from the world, as if the world cannot see me. I wonder what I am afraid to see or feel....? Certainly the card has a strange air, with someone behaving rather irrationally, for whatever reason! Anyway I came out of hiding today and went to the beach with Polly and Phoebe!! Without a blindfold. Anyway as it is the party season I think maybe this card could be telling me to stop hiding and celebrate the season by joining in the fun and games... the stranger the better maybe !!!! Party time ;)

Enjoy the feasting... and if you are in the Northern hemisphere, enjoy the cool nights... it is sweltering here, and definitely not enjoyable, though I gotta say, it was great being in the sea earlier!

Christmas Knight....

Kind of appropriate to get a Knight for Christmas Eve... (playing on words here but that's ok , anything goes!), especially the Knight if Wands as it is quite a magical time of year.

This guy from the Bohemian Gothic Tarot doesn't look too much like a Knight in shining armour though, more  a self centered, narcissistic creature, with his red hair and finery.

Knight of Wands - Bohemian Gothic Tarot

In the background is what looks like a tomb, so I gather he is in a graveyard, maybe his eyes look so odd because he has been crying, but I am doubtful. He doesn't look like he has much emotion in him. His riding whip and huntsman's coat speak to me of a cruel streak, a charmer, or someone who will lie and deceive to get what he wants. Perhaps he is in the graveyard for no good reason other than to fake remorse at the death of someone close.... I don't think he is alone, as he seems to be looking out at someone. Maybe he just got off his horse to approach them, on their level.. another subterfuge.

He could have come to the family tomb to say a last farewell before riding off to new adventures, with little love lost. Already his eye is on the next adventure or conquest.

For some reason this card reminds me of The Devil card in Tarot of the Sweet Twilight... someone who is out for what he can get and see's a good thing coming.

Ok I will be on guard!!

The wood and graveyard though remind me of taking time out, quiet and solitude and destressing, away from the hustle and bustle of crowds and shops and car parks and pavements ....  yep its ben one of those days!!

Gothic Queen......

Sunday is the first day of my, week and I have decided to use the Bohemian Gothic Tarot by Baba Studio's as my deck of the week for readings and daily draws and all other such things.

I love this deck, so dark and yet playful.... its the perfect deck to get lost in, tell stories with and dream within. It shuffles like a waterfall and has gorgeous cardstock... and no borders... all of which go to making a deck a favourite. The backs are wonderful too!

Today I drew the Queen of Cups....

Queen of Cups - Bohemian Gothic Tarot

The Queens of the Bohemian Gothic Tarot all have a shadow side... one is a vampire, another stepped from a painting... this one is a Lorelei, a siren who lured sailors to their death after attracting them with the illusion of beauty amd the enchanting music from her golden harp. There are many signs on this card that all is not as it seems. The harp for one is an Irish style harp.... which makes me think of one who has kissed the Blarney Stone, and is therefore blessed with the gift of guile. The raven sitting by the queen could be her familiar, ravens are known as symbols of death although I like them, They are also messengers from the Otherworld, and as this one is hanging around the Queen like a friend, I am guessing she is from some other place that's not quite as it looks here. The silver goblet by her feet has flowers trailing from it that look suspiciously like Deadly Nightshade. This posionous plant has a long history of being used to poison people, disguised as wine. It is also hallucinogenic... more proof of the illusory vision we see on this card. It could be tempting to drink of that cup and escape for a while from life as we know it, but the hangover could be pretty heavy.

So whereas traditionally the Queen of Cups is a loving, nurturing, Empress of a Queen, this one has more of the Sorceress about her. I think the message here is to be aware, as not all is as it seems. Especially when it looks a little different from the norm, or what you are used to. Yep I get it... thanks again cards, for looking out for me!

The Shaman

My last daily draw from the Wildwood this year is The Shaman.

The Shaman - Wildwood Tarot

Being numbered 1 in the Wildwood Tarot (which is usually The Magician), its  good card for the beginning of the new world. The sun has turned and is headed back to the North, this is a time of stillness and deeper contemplation. Time to not just smell the roses but to feel them, sense them, connect with them and hear their petals unfurling. When I walked to the mailbox early this morning, I could feel and smell the sun already, it felt peaceful. The grass which I cut yesterday smelled amazing in the first warmth of the day and the goats definitely appreciate it.

I watch how my goats live in summer, they eat and walk at night, and sleep during the day.... in the mornings they are still eating, then they sunbathe on the lawn, totally relaxed and stretched out! They sleep through the heat of the day and in the evening they wake up and have a mad dash around the garden, playing with each other and the cats. Gypsy has been wandering off in the jungle of grass and tree's beyond the lawn recently. When he disappears, Moon comes to the kitchen door and asks me to go and find him! I love these two goats, they are totally amazing. That's Shaman magic, that connection I feel with them. They have this ability to make me happy, to make me smile, and they always come to greet me :)

Later in the day I love to feel the breeze blow through from the deck, I like breeze and prefer windy weather to still. But there was stillness today...... time to let life flow through me knowing that all will be ok. I am animal, I am peace, I am fire, I am emotion, I am mind. I am part of life's force and I live in peace and harmony with those creatures around me.

I am mother...

12 years ago today, on the Winter Solstice back in England, my youngest child was born.... Happy Birthday Phoebe, my Solstice baby xx

What Will End Today?

As it is that day today, I asked the Tarot to show me something that would end... or at least begin to end with the change in energy that this Solstice, and the end of the Mayan Calender will bring. No doubt I can feel something shifting on this planet, unless it's just within me.

I couldn't have drawn a more appropriate card.....

Six of Stones - Wildwood Tarot

The Six of Stones..... the Exploitation card in this wonderful deck. The card shows two starving beggers, broken tools at their feet. Behind them are six sad looking very damaged beehives, but no bee's buzzing in and out.  Further back is a dead tree, what looks like a dried up river bed and a sky full of fire and smoke, destroying the land and polluting the air we breathe.

This is a warning card...if we don't stop this raping and pillaging of our planet, we could end up like these beggers. Noone believes it will happen, but I do. Unless we stop it...now.

It is a brilliant card to draw as an ending card, and I sincerely hope this ending begins now. Please do all you can to stop the exploitation of our planet and all it's lifeforms.

There are things we can all do to make a difference. Be aware of where your food comes from, avoid factory farmed animals, and war funding multi national companies. Grow whatever food you can, even if you only have a window box! Buy fairly traded, tea, coffee, chocolate, sugar wherever you can, do not support the exploitation of workers. Shower less, its bad for your skin, use eco friendly detergents or baking soda. Avoid products tested on animals. Take less trips by car. Educate your children, friends and families! Tell them why you are doing these things and don't back down just to keep the peace... that kind of peace is too expensive!!

Recycle, recycle, recycle!

20 12 2012

I had to do a special 2012 spread for today.... what with the double 2012 date.. and all adding up to one which is pretty neat for the end of an era and the beginning of a new one. Then we have the Solstice coming up, when we in the South send the Sun back up to the North heading back the way it came 6 months ago.... it is all very exciting.

I don't believe the world will end tomorrow, but I do feel something will happen that has been building up for the past 9 years at least.... I have felt changes, getting stronger and stronger, but they are hard to put into words. It is almost a "knowing among" those in the world who are ready. A connection, some very strong energy connecting us... as I said, it is hard to put into words!

So here is my deliberately drawn 20 12 2012 spread:

The Wildwood Tarot 2012 Spread

Of course it is very different to the spreads where the cards are drawn at randon, but the cards here fit the date and the current changes going in perfectly.

The Great Bear is often called Judgement in the Tarot, but I prefer this version. This card is at the Winter Solstice on the Wheel of the Year which of course is exactly where those in the Northern hemisphere are about now. The bear sits guarding an ancient passage grave, ready for the winter sun to shine in and awaken the soul inside. Throughout the dark sleeping months they have had the chance to learn much wisdom, to help them with the next cycle of life. Behind the bear the constellation of the Great Bear is shown in the sky and what looks like the Northern Lights shine out around him. With the ancient yews the bear guards the grave. The only judgement is that of ourselves, and how we choose to live our lives. Nothing can be hidden or forgotten. This is the time of stillness, where we lie quiet, like the sun on the solstice, before moving back around the wheel.

The Mirror, card number 12,  reflects the inner secrets of the soul lying in the tomb, looking into the Mirror he can see his deepest fears and most hidden thoughts, nothing is hidden here, the Siren holds up the Moon to light the mirror and dispel illusions... maybe she scries with the Moon. A crane with a medicine back around its neck sits by the serpent woman, he looks old and wise and he guards the secrets in his golden bag. The body in the boat lies still, at peace and the boat heads for the Otherworld to rest between journeys. The transition cannot be hurried, the water in the lake represents our subconscious where healing takes place during sleep. Everything in this card seems to reflect what is going on in The Great Bear card.

 The past couple of days a Great Cormorant an NZ native, who looks very crane like has been hanging around my pond..which also has an island with three tree's. It has a boat too but the boat is out of the water at the moment...!

The 2 card, The Seer has many elements of the other cards, the medicine bag, the water which she appears to be drawing energy from or seeing visions in. She wears a Shamans cloak, evidence of meeting with the Shaman on the inner journey to the subconscious. She has gained wisdom and her will is set as signified by the carved staff which she holds in her left hand. She gazes into the water calling up the creative dreams and inspirations and guides them to take root in the earth with her right hand. The water represents emotions, all the feelings and emotional healing can now be put to good use in the earthly world if you know how to channel them.

The Wanderer, is another card which shows a time of stillness between the solid ground and the emptiness between the Wanderer and the forest. There is a rainbow bridging the gap hope for the future, and a means to cross the divide to the next cycle. The Wanderer has his arms open, welcoming that which is to come, the newness and unknown future.  He knows he has everything to learn and in knowing this he is the wisest of all. Although there is some slight hesitation there is no stopping now, one foot is ready to take the first step, leaving the old and entering the new. A time of new beginnings, new hope and another cycle.

Once again the The Mirror or 12 card, reflects the meanings of these two cards and the whole cycle is reflected back and forth. Each time we gain knowledge, wisdom, truth and courage.... if we take that leap of faith and allow it to happen naturally.

I have to do things now and want to get this posted while the date still holds, but I am sure I could get much much more out of this spread.

Today I have permission to.......

Inspired by a thread on Aeclectic Tarot I decided to draw one card and take from it everything I can see, and use it as a permission slip or gift voucher to do something nice for me..

Using the Wildwood Tarot I shuffled and cut the deck and drew a card from the top....... drumroll........

The card I drew was The Journey..... had to smile :) The Journey card in The Wildwood Tarot is number 13 which of course is usually the Death card, but we all know that Death isn't death, just change, and the Journey is quite a neat name for it I think.

The card shows a raven or crow eating the last of the flesh from as reindeer skull, high up in the mountains I think. There are five more corvids flying in silhouette against a huge full moon. There are a couple of huge old tree's in the background. They have no leaves, so either they are dead or it is winter. I think winter.

This is one of my favourite cards in the deck...the more I see of Will Worthington's art, the more I love it, but it this deck especially.

The Wildwood Tarot

The Raven is a very magical creature, and he warns of betrayal and danger. He is a guardian of those at rest, and ravens are still said to this day to guard the head of Bran in the Tower of London. Raven is excellent at crossing between the worlds and so is a great messenger. He not only protects the good but will instill fear in the heart of enemies. Here he is stripping the last of the flesh from a long dead reindeer skull, recycling, the alchemy of turning death into sustenance and life. The great deer who was a king in his day is still serving his land and its creatures even in death.

The full moon is another symbol of life's cycles, just as she will wane so will she wax again, the tree's will get new life and the mountain will see many more sunrises. The journey is never ending, the journey of the wheel... life to death and back again. Sometimes it is time for one journey to end and another to begin.

The skull being stripped to the bone is another message, looking deep into yourself and finding what lies there, what is essentially you, or me. A journey within. So many signs of the past and the future.

Somehow, I was guided by this card to finding an old poster that I used to have on my wall in the old farmhouse we lived in a few years ago. It was the best summer I ever had here and definitely the best Christmas. My children were still children, we were a tribe who survived, who stuck together. But now as things change and grow, two of those children are off on their own journey's, no longer at home. It is hard for me to accept the end of that stage of their journey with me, but sometimes, things have to end for life to carry on. I have thought a lot about when they were small, in England, how I loved this time of year. How I have come to dread it. Why?

I feel this card is telling me to reap the good and the joy from the past and bring it to life in the now.... So I have put up my old torn poster in my bathroom, it looks colourful and joyful. I am giving myself permission to accept the cycles of life, to embrace the joy in today and be thankful for my little people. I will read my old blog, and remember, when I look back on that wonderful magical summer, there were very hard sad times then too. But in my memories I only feel the joy of our family life then... this is what carries us forward. One day, these days will be looked back on fondly.. the dark times will be just shadows, necessary to allow the brightness to shine.....I know this..its the cycle of life.... the chiaroscuro of existence.

I just found a blog post from 7 years ago, showing that poster, in my old home.  I entitled the post "I trust....." I cannot think of anything more fitting to read now.... and ya know. that thing I wanted so badly back then, and that seemed way beyond my reach, was New Zealand residency, the right to live in a land we had come to love. We now have that, and in 6 weeks it will be permanent, forever! I did that... I achieved that, very much in the face of adversity and against all odds....and oh boy does it make me feel good!

Today I give myself the gift of celebration, and a huge pat on the back!!!

The Hare of the Wildwood

Since I did my reading yesterday, I have been getting more and more into this deck. I abandoned the Mystic Medicine oracle I had chosen this week as it still grates on me somehow!!! It needs more intense cleansing obviously.... next full moon it will be out there, and also for the Solstice, which according to what I have found on the web actually occurs here at 12.15am on Saturday 22nd... Phoebes birthday.....

So I laid out the Wildwood cards in the Wheel of the Year and it helped to see them like this and associate the different suits and Majors with their place in the seasonal cycle. The card I drew for my daily draw today was The Hare.... whose time in the wheel we have just passed through..... the days coming up to Midsummer. 

 Wildwood Tarot 

This gorgeous artwork by Will Worthington shows a magnificent hare standing in mountain terrain with the full moon behind him. He looks in command of his countryside, strong and alert to danger. He has a  Green man mask by his feet... symbolic of the continuity and fertility of nature and its cycles. What a beautiful and majestic creature this hare is! Wonderful art!

The Hare means a lot to me, I have been fascinated with hares all my life, I have hare art all over my home, I have done a Welsh pilgrimage to the Patron Saint of Hares and spent many years watching them back in East Anglia. A couple of years ago we had a pet New Zealand hare for a while who came to live with our beloved Snoopy. He was a wild creature, unlike our gorgeous wee mini lop bunny, and we called him Jerusalem. He got on really well with Snoopy who loved having him as a friend, but eventually as he got older, he left us. I cannot keep animals in cages. He didn't go far though and he would come back and visit sometimes, or we would spot him hanging out at the gate to our drive.

The Wildwood book has some beautiful words for the Queen of Bows:

"A companion through life, sympathetic and understanding, leading you to a deeper awareness of what is needed to bring success to your every enterprise. Wise and witty, gentle and kindly the Queen supports you and strengthens your resolve."

This a a fantastic companion for me at this time, I should know the Hare is always there for me and this is a great reminder of that energy. Hares are messengers, they cross through age and culture, bringing you to where you need to be. Their tracks in the fields are complex, but designed to be for them only to be able to follow. They have no underground homes like their rabbit cousins, and so they keep safe by their wits, their amazing senses and their speed. Those huge ears and big eyes are not just for show.

Hares are often related to the Moon and lunacy in mythology, and they are also shapeshifters. The Hare was said to have offered to lay down his life for Buddha in order to feed him with his own flesh. Buddha saved him however and painted his image on the Moon, to be seen forever by all who looked up, as an honour of his selflesness.

The hare will return here often.... as he has in my life...

Wildwood Reading

There is something I need to do but have been avoiding, as it is not easy. I wanted to ask the Tarot, how to go about it.

I used The Wildwood Tarot as it is my chosen weekly deck, and am wondering if that is a mistake as I cant really get much from this reading that helps with my question.

I devised a small spread asking:

1.When should I approach this
2.How should I approach this
3.How shall I deal with the outcome

The cards I drew were:

1. When should I approach this - Four of Bows Keyword: Celebration

Looking at this as time, and this card being about a celebration with fire and dancing, I wondered if the time is right around now... ie the upcoming Solstice. The number is 4 and the date I did the reading is 4 days from the Solstice. Or maybe the card wants me to do it before then, so I can celebrate with joy and abandon with my loved ones, free from what is bothering me? I then looked at the bows...the bows in this card have no strings, so is the time actually not right? Do I need to wait for another part (whatever that may mean), or something to complete my approach?

2. How should I approach this - Ace of Stones Keyword: Foundation of Life

This card shows a wonderful carved standing stone in a grove of ancient tree's. The stone has stood tall through the years like the tree's, so this to me says be strong and stand tall, and possibly have faith in the universe. The shadow falls before the stone, so depending on which way the stone faces it could be morning or evening.... a beginning or an end? There are many Cup and Ring symbols carved into the stone, whch I always see as the old ones communicating with us today. They remind me of the wireles symbols used by computers and mobile phones to signify a connection. There is also a maze or labyrinth on the stone. The labyrinth can symbolise the unknown.... it also shows struggle, finding the right way through the maze. If I am true to myself and stand strong in my light will I be able to see the right path once I begin? Again I am unsure quite what to think here in relation to my question.

3. How shall I deal with the outcome - Three of Vessels Keyword: Joy

Three cranes hover in a triangle over three vessels, gold, green and white. I know in Christianity these colours are used at certain times, white is for purity and green for spiritual growth and new life, gold which is only used at Easter is for the greatest feast. Cranes symbolise long life and also peace. I looked at the book for this card and the author writes:

"One of the most common reasons why people lose the ability to feel authentic joy in their lives is the loss or grief at the passing of the emotion"

I found this quite profound and it does make sense. It also mentions we must be strong and realise that all life's trials and tribulations are cyclical by nature. Just like in the Wheel of Fortune.

Any thoughts on this are welcome.... thanks for reading!

Wildwood Tarot 

Nine Energy

I have always been interested in Numerology but not really studied it in depth. Today's number adds up to 9and it still adds up to 9 when I add my year number! Which is also 9. This is what Creative Numerology has to say:

It will be difficult to prevent emotional movement now. Your feelings need to express themselves in order for you to evolve from an old situation. Everyone involved needs to be who they are - who they have become. This cycle of love, beauty, and relationship can be easily damaged by indifference, defensiveness or judgment, so try to create a peaceful and harmonious atmosphere. Let yourself enjoy the love and affection all around you. 

 This forecast is very apt for this week and today. I will work more with numbers in future I think... it all adds to the infinite fascination of the hidden meanings in life.

I changed decks today and this week I am using the Wildwood Tarot and my Mystic Art Medicine cards. I love the art on the latter but the backs really put me off! They are photographic and don't seem to fit at all with the art, so I try not to look at them when shuffling. Difficult as they are large cards! Backs matter to me, I love the ones that carry on the theme of the card faces and the patterns just seem to flow like water when you shuffle. It has a real energy moving feeling. The very best I have found for this so far are those of the Waking the Wild Spirit deck.

So today's cards Page of Stones from The Wildwood Tarot and Shadow from the Mystic Art Medicine cards.

Shadow from Mystic Art Medicine Cards and Page if Stones from Wildwood Tarot

The Stones suit in the Wildwood deck is the Winter suit. The page is a student, and the lynx has a lot of lessons to teach. Looking at the card we can see that this beautiful creature is waiting, watching and listening carefully, trying to gather all the information he can before he acts. His ears are pricked up and his eyes wide open, he is perfectly still. One of the questions to ask of this card as suggested by the authors of this deck is "What data do I need to make a decision". This fits well with the painting on this card.

I looked more into the symbolism of the lynx and found this quote from an amazing site called Wildspeak

"The nature of the Lynx to operate alone enables it to understand secrets and to be secretive. This nature is neither deceptive nor deliberately malicious, rather it is an energy that simply stands apart. Lynx is The Hermit from the standard Tarot. People with Lynx in their lives often find that they connect best with others and themselves, when they deliberately disconnect from overly socialising or stretching themselves too thin."

So today is a Nine day, it is a Nine year and the Lynx card relates to the Hermit... another Nine.... that's a lot of Nine energy around me! The above quote fits me very well. There is lots more information on this wonderful site all about animal totems and what they can teach us.

Another fascinating site with info about the Lynx constellation is Constellations of Words. According to this site the lynx is credited with the ability to see through material things, and know secrets.

Looking at the Shadow card from the Mystic Art Medicine Oracle it at first appears very red and demon like.... and I guess shadows are our demons, the things we dont want to face. A shadowy creature stands in a dark space, surrounded by angry red flames, but water seems to be trickling in down the walls and the staircases to reach the dark. A flower that looks like a lily is blooming white, perhaps the water has revived it. Dark energy comes out of the head of the shadow man but disappears as the light above diffuses it.

But only when we have seen the dark can we know and appreciate the light. Once the shadow is lit and transformed we can then begin to work with it and it can help us to heal and become stronger. In light of the Lynx card from the Wildwood coming up with this one, I feel I need to uncover some shadows and face them and stop being afraid. So many things are telling me this at the moment.

I received an email this morning from Creative Numerology which is a fabulous resource, highly recommended. I decided to calculate my year number for 2012... bit late I know but...!! As instructed on the blog, I added my month and day of birth and then added 5 (because 2012 adds up to 5), and came up with the  number 9. This is what the site says for my weekly forecast:

It will be difficult to prevent emotional movement now. Your feelings need to express themselves in order for you to evolve from an old situation. Everyone involved needs to be who they are – who they have become. This cycle of love, beauty, and relationship can be easily damaged by indifference, defensiveness or judgment, so try to create a peaceful and harmonious atmosphere. Let yourself enjoy the love and affection all around you.

Really this couldn't be more apt for this week. Emotional movement is unavoidable right now, no matter how I set boundaries and as a result  I feel quite vulnerable. I need to let this sink it and accept that I need to take extra care of me. This has been a difficult year where I have felt very disconnected from life and the world in many ways.  Spiritually I think this has been a good thing.

Jonothan Cainer wrote for my weekly forecast that I feel torn between the desire to please someone who wants me to ignore something .... and my own urge to face the facts. He advises being moderate and patient, for more information may yet alter a lot! I'll say.... sometimes I think that guy is a fly on the wall, but how can it be right for everyone born under that sign?

To add a little more info for the week I decided to take the Nine of Cups card from my Victorian Romantic deck (chosen for the number of the week we are currently in and the emotional focus).
The Nine of Cups is in the second Decan of Pisces and associated with Moon energy....

Nine of Cups - Victorian Romantic

 This guy looks happy with his lot. He is very richly dressed as if enjoying his best finery for the hell of it... as the Nine of Cups is about simple pleasures.  A warm air of hospitality is shown by his jovial appearance.... any beer left? Even if there isn't he doesn't seem to worried. After the drunken dreams of the Seven of Cups which I got earlier this week, maybe he has had enough anyway and is deciding to be moderate.
There is a little bit of a warning as Nine is also the number of the Hermit, who is alone, like this man.... why is he alone? Perhaps he is just happy in his own company or waiting for a friend. There is alos a temptaion for deception, being taken in, as it is influenced with that Moon energy

On the whole I think the week ahead looks good, as the Nine of Cups is often called The Wish card, I shall wish for the best.... being careful what I wish for of course in case I get it.....

Weekend Question Spread

Because of confusion and up and down emotions this week, I don't know quite where I am. So I asked the crads of the Ludy Lescot Tarot deck the following three questions about my life at this time and over the next day or two.

1.What is real?
2.What is hidden?
3.What is false?

The cards that came up were Judgement, The Sun (yes the deck was very well shuffled and used many times since being originally ordered) and the Queen of Wands.

Judgement, The Sun and Queen of Swords - Ludy Lescot

1. What is real? - Judgement

The people have been called to come out to awaken, to be naked so that nothing is hidden, all secrets will be revealed in the great shining light of the new dawn. Only one person looks up and faces the front of the crowd, the others all have their heads bowed. Is she hearing her personal calling? What are the red dots on the back of the heads of those three figures at the rear? Although this scene is very apocalyptic I dont think these dots are the marks of the beast. They are in the wrong places if we are to believe what is quoted in the bible. Also there is one on the sun. Maybe these three are enlightened but only the one with her head raised realises it....

This  could be underlining my recent thoughts that my life is about to change, have a new beginning... I have felt like I am being called to look at my life, weed out the bad from the good. face the reality of it all. I read something La Force wrote about this card on Aeclectic Tarot

"Do you have a problem that won't shut up?"

 Indeed I do.... it involves undisclosed secrets, and according to the position of this card it is very real.


2. What is hidden? - The Sun

This picture shows a woman by a huge cathedral window of stained glass. The sun is bursting through the window and it is shattered by either the white birds, the shadowy figure or the Sun itself.
Who or what is the shadow? I saw something like him in the Judgement card. Is he the one to beware of.... and when light finally exposes him is he running away? As vampires do from the dawn to hide in the vaults? It seems to me that what is hidden is the truth and the light. The woman is turning away from it..... maybe she doesn't really want to know the truth?

Maybe the shadow dude and the doves are crashing through the window to bring in the light and faith and peace to the woman hidden inside? Hard to tell if he is a good or baddy....  He looks like the same guy I got last week at the top of the stairs in the Wheel of Fortune card from this deck. He is coming to get me no matter what!!!!


3. What is false? - Queen of Wands

The Queen of Wands holds up a sunflower which she stares at intently, as if trying to work out how it came to be, or how it is made. Beside her is a stone statue of a lioness... related to the night energy of the  moon and strength, and dignity. The lioness sits between the Queen and the throne. The throne is topped with a carved tudor style rose as we have seen before in this deck. The rose is a symbol of love and passion and hidden things... this rose is open, possibly the secret is out. The Queen of Wands however does not sit on her throne.... her lioness is made of stone. and maybe that sunflower is not quite alive, it looks dark. This is a Fire card but it seems much of the fire is hidden or subdued.

So what is false? The empty throne, the strength of the lion, the joy of the sunflower? All of them or none? If the lion represents strength and it is nocturnal maybe I need to have power over the darker side of my conscious.  Maybe I am in denial. Thoughts anyone?

Seven of Cups

Another delightful card from the Victorian Romantic... I am loving this deck more and more. Funy if I saw half these images in a book or gallery, I am not so sure many of them would catch my eye, but the artists who created this deck have done wonders with them. Bringing them to life as a Tarot Deck full of symbols and possibilites and magical pictures... well its totally transformational. Real alchemy!

Seven of Cups - Victorian Romantic

This guy reminds me of The Fool...... just by his appearance really. I wonder what he is doing. Is he using his treaures as bait to catch the fairy folk below the surface? He could have been taken in by the underwater creatures, for they could be like the Sirens who led men to their deaths crashed up rocks.
He could end up with nothing left, like the gambler who throws it all in against the big prize. Of courser with gamblers there never is a big prize, it is always just out of reach... that being the nature of the beast. Is he being taken in by the Sirens or is he fooling them? Are his treausures merely illusions which will disappear when they try to touch them? Someone seems to be playing a game in this card. If the fisherman falls in he could be caught in those tentacle things and trapped... drowned even.

I read somewhere that this card is sometimes know as Faery Favours... because like Faery gifts they could just be illusions which fade after time. There is much illusion as this card is associated with the Moon, and emotion of course... shown in the water. I just thought of being drowned in emotion.... deluded... tempted to believe that which is not true but only imagined. Very much a Seven of Cups energy.

Faery favours makes me wonder if I should turn to my Faerie Oracle for help.... or will I only become more deluded?! I do like this particular Seven of Cups though..... I like dreams... even if they can be only castles in the air.

Two Bags for Two Decks!

I was so excited about my  bags I received for my Bohemian Gothic Deck and Victorian Romantic deck that I decided I would share pictures of those instead of the card that I actually forgot to draw today. I did a long reading which kind of took my energy Tarot wise. Also today, I took my son and his mate to see The Hobbit, as it was released in New Zealand today. Hopefully my Hobbit deck will arrive before Christmas! I didn't watch the movie... not sure I could sit in a cinema that long, but Boo loved it. He thought it was much better than Lord of the Rings, and he knows those movies and the books extremely well. According to him they left way too much out of Lord of the Rings... including Tom Bombadil... unforgivable.

Anyway... I now have two *sister* decks with bags to match! I have loved the Bohemian Gothic since I first got a copy, and I tried to make a crazy patchwork bag in scraps of velvet and silks that I had, in a kind of Victorian style.... but then I decided I wanted to make the scraps I had sewn together into a cloth maybe. They looked so jewel like, and the deck does look really good spread on the piece I have made so far ...... so ...... when I saw this original Baba Studio bag up for trade I had to have it!

Bohemian Gothic Tarot and Bag

The Victorian Romantic second edition was only released recently, and I had no idea I would love it as much as I do. The bag for this is the Nine of Swords card design.... with a velvet back. Loving the velvet, wish the BoGo bag was velvet too! It's great to have these bags even though I am not really a matching kind of person. They are special. I do love to create my own tarot bags especially for my decks but its also nice to have some from special places... Prague in this case :)

Victorian Romantic Tarot and Bag

The Nine of Swords is one of my favourite cards in this deck, how she is out there on the edge, sleepwalking.... vulnerable and yet she is almost at the window. Will she wake before then? Will she make it? If you live life on the edge you never know when you may fall off, and yet it is this uncertainty that excites us. Even looking at this image gets my adrenalin going......  I don't think I will sleep with this bag under my pillow though... I am scared of heights ;-/

I am going to try using these two decks together and see how it works....... which will be the shadow? One would be inclined to think the BoGo would be darker,  but the VR has it's dark side too. Anyway, thats another post for another day.

Tuesday Energy

I love the word Tuesday, I wanted to call one of my children Tuesday, but the closest to a Tuesday was my son who was born at 10.33 on a Monday evening. Today I wouldn't need them to be born on that day to name them Tuesday, because now I don't need a reason to do things.... I like signs though... some kind of guidance is good, no matter how subtle.

So today I asked the cards what energy I needed..... for healing... I felt low....low spirits and low energy and I didn't know why.

These are the cards I drew:

Queen of Wands - Victorian Romantic and Two of Chalices from Ludy Lescot

The Queen of Wands is shown here looking very confident and self assured. She wears her regal purple dress with frills and bustle, but I cant help but noticing that it also has big pom pom buttons which remind me of clown suits! Another playful side is show by the mask she carries. This could show a darker side to her nature, maybe to wear when her passion rises, or is it something she has now stopped wearing as she has grown more into her true nature and no longer needs to hide it?

Her Wand is a large parasol in fiery orange and she wears a ribbon on her hat to match. So while passion may go to her head it also connects her to the ground. She looks at her people, knowing she is adored by them and in return they can trust her to be a true and just monarch. The blue of the hydrangea on her parasol is a symbol of heartfelt devotion.... its literal meaning, from the Greek hydro and angeion, means water vessel. It can be a symbol of thankfulness and gratitude... possibly given to her by one of her people. The sunflowers in the background are representative of adoration and joy.... there is a Greek myth about a yellow flower which is very fitting. From Squidoo:

Clytie, the water nymph, was in love with Apollo, the Sun God, who later became known as Helios. She would stare up at Apollo, hoping he would glance her way. But Apollo was in love with someone else and never did favor Clytie with his gaze. When Clytie realised that Apollo was never going to return her love, she sank into a depression and would not eat or drink for nine days but just stare with sorrow at her unrequited love. The other Gods felt sorry for Clytie and they transformed her into a beautiful sunflower which always followed the path of the sun.

 When in bud the sunflower does follow the sun, seeking the warmth and light...but when in full bloom they always face east, which is appropriate as the sun rises in the east, and so she would look this way for Apollo's chariot to appear on the horizon each new day. What a great symcol of hope and devotion! Also of course the Sunflower has longevity and is a form of nourishment, providing hundreds of seeds for food or oil.Wonderful flower to signify the qualities of a good ruler.

I need to seek out my truth and my light and stand tall in those things... obviously!

The Two of Chalices seems to support the message of the Queen of Wands. There is the connection with the water vessel and also a need to get in touch with who you really are. This card shows two people back to back kneeling on a bed. There is a trunk against the wall and a fishing net on the bed. The windows are clouded glass, so noone can see in, they have privacy to enjoy their intimacy.  It looks like it could be a cabin in a cruise ship, with the trunk and the net. The two figures have their eyes closed, they cannot see each other and are relying on feel, even as they share the wine between their chalices, trusting it not to spill. They touch blindly, giving themselves up to the senses. If this is a ship then that itself is a vessel and the net could symbolise that they are caught up in emotions I love this card.... I love this deck!

The Two of Chalices seems to relate to my nature far more than the Queen of Wands, but maybe they are both giving me the same message. Trust my intuition, be who I am, and be proud of that.

Searching for the Grail

.... Ah... but first we need to know what the Grail is....

For me the Grail is something that is missing, something I need for total inner peace and happiness... but it is missing and I feel the emptiness it leaves. It is like I am always waiting,.... but I don't know what for! I am fairly happy, I have had to be strong in my life to get to this point, but I am here. I have great kids whom I am very proud of. I love my goats and my home. I have my art and Tarot and all my other interests. I am never bored. There is no material thing that I need.. I have a few close and wonderful friends, I have a wonderful family including the world's best ever sister. I live a quiet, fairly hermit like existence by choice, because apart from traveling, I have found no other lifestyle that I connect with. I want to travel but now is not the time, I still have little people depending on me. One may be bigger than me but he still needs me!! So with all this why do I feel something is missing? Why do I wake and wonder what my life is about? What is this missing link between me and completeness....?

This morning I was inspired to read with my Victorian Romantic Deck for the first time, using some questions I found on Rowan Tarot.

The questions were inspired by Chretien de Troyes' Perceval: Story of the Grail

1. What is the lance that bleeds
2. What is the Grail
3. What can be the candelabra to light my quest

Queen of Swords, Strength and the Moon from Baba Studio's Victorian Romantic Tarot

Queen of Swords seems very appropriate for the lance that bleeds. especially this Queen of Swords with her sword jeweled with blood red stones. She looks wise, wisdom that belies her years. This queen looks like she can take on the world... in fact she reminds me of the Iceni queen, Boadicea who started an uprising against the Roman Invaders. Boadicea's country was what is now known as Norfolk on the East Coast of England. The very part of England where I spent the 15 years prior to coming to New Zealand. Mind you there are no mountains in Norfolk so this queen is obviously in another land... she does have the determination though, like she has to do it single handed.

This independence, having to cope, having to be strong has made me fairly tough, but maybe also too independent. I don't really know how to be with people or let them help, as I am so used to doing it all on my own. I find it extremely difficult to be feminine. She cuts through lies and bullshit.... with that sharp blade with no problem, it is not always easy to be this perceptive.  She looks tough and unfeeling, but I sense a lot of sadness behind those eyes. Like the song by The Who. This lady is the lance that bleeds indeed.

Strength... After the Queen of Swords it seems strength may be a little superfluous!  There is a woman in a den of lions... leastwise it looks like den, there is a grey stone wall which looks pretty  indestructible and the floor doesn't look as if it is outside at all. The lady is dressed in red, a colour of fire and of passion, echoed in the sun symbol at the bottom of her gown. She wears a bracelet like a slave bangle around her upper arm. Her dress and hairstyle are far too grand for a slave of course and the bracelet could also be a symbol of her husbands wealth. But slavery can take many forms, and is not always immediately evident. No doubting the strength in this card, calm against the storm, a strength born of gentleness and courage from within. This lady knows she is capable of controlling the lions by her own inner will and quiet. The lions look as if they are adoring her, accepting her as one of their own. Reminds me some of Living with Wolves again..!

Seems the Grail is courage, to face things I find frightening, to find inner strength and to believe in myself and trust myself totally. With courage comes freedom, and this reminds me of a line from another song, this one by the Eagles Already Gone.. and one line on particular:

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key

 To feel the freedom I want to feel, to travel, will take courage and inner strength. I will be trusting only in myself. I have done this before, when I came here to strange land with young children, and no one to rely on except me. But it is always easier to be strong for others than it is to be strong for oneself.

The Moon.... I laughed when I turned this card over! What card could possibly be more fitting to represent a candelabra than The Moon!! Except the moon on this card is hidden behind the clouds.
The female figure here is dressed in blue and combs her long hair, she is almost like a mermaid with the sea-like colours and flowing hair; the background is watery looking too. Her eyes gaze into the distance as if not quite of this world, but one beyond. On her head she wears the Crescent Moon of Diana or Artemis.. goddess of the hunt and the moon. She is a sorceress  and a huntress, she is enchanting like the Sirens and she has magic in her comb. The tower high on the hill in the background may have been where she once lived the hermit life of Rapunzel. This Moon card is so beautiful, mysterious... I love it! I have no fear of lunacy, fantasy or illusions that the Moon can bring to mind. I welcome this card. the Moon is my friend, the Moon is my nature.

Be myself, look inside for my wisdom, and be the huntress of my grail, my joy. There is no need to be afraid of the dark or the unknown.

December Magic Spread!

I designed this spread a couple of weeks a go for a reading exchange circle I host on Aeclectic Tarot, and I thought I should probably share it here on my blog too.

December is a special month for most of us, whether we celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Yule or The Winter or Summer Solstice or any other holiday. It is also the last month of the year in the Gregorian Calendar. Because we are a huge tribe of many cultures and locations I wanted a spread to cover December for everyone. I couldn't find anything suitable so I created my brand new, shiny gift wrapped December Magic Spread.

December Magic Spread

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*2***3*
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1.What is the most important meaning that December holds for you this year

2.What will be your greatest gift to others this December

3.What is the greatest gift you will receive this December

4.What magic will the fairy on your tree bless you with this December

Shuffle your deck and take the bottom card and place it in position 1. This is the base card, the root of the tree. Deal the next first three cards using your usual method and place as shown.

Here I tried the spread with my Ludy Lescot Deck:

December Magic Spread with Ludy Lescot Tarot

1. Knight of Swords
2. Two of Wands
3. Two of Pentacle
4. Seven of Chalices 

The Knight of Swords as depicted in this deck is all about going out there and doing battle, with no fear of what may come at you out of the wild unknown forest. His horse is rearing in a stream, which could signify that emotional matters are being bypassed here, or simply ridden over. Can be a good thing sometimes. The wolf, well, he may represent an unseen danger which the rider is either clearly not seeing, or ignoring. On the other hand the wolf could be wanting to help the knight, and his howling may be an answering battle cry.... like yep I'm here, I know the ground well, lets do it!! I think I prefer the latter version, especially since watching the gorgeous Living with Wolves movie!!
Hmmmm so December means battles... makes sense...maybe they are inner battles, or perhaps it is finally time to face something I have been trying to avoid. That's works!

The Two of Wands are two tree's in the background with a cherub, cupid statue whose shadow can also be seen on the floor. The tree's and the column the woman is leaning against reminds me of the High Priestess... another 2, also the book is a traditional High Priestess symbol, although in this deck she has neither of these items in her card. The woman looks like she is holding on to her book like a dream, and looking towards the other book trying to decide which dream to choose. The cherub statue is reaching out to her but she can't see him... I wonder if this is my children...? I have a lot of indecisive thoughts over the past few months.... but also my solace has been in learning and in the written word. The letter is communication... my gift to the world is that... letting my loved ones know I care about them and miss them deeply.... and hoping my words can do the trick until I am able to be there in person. I look at old photo's and think back of those days when we all had Christmas together... but children grow and move, and families become far apart... there is some sadness here, yearning for what once was... and I guess that's what Christmas is about for many of us.

Seven of Chalices represents the greatest gift I will receive this December. This is a gorgeous card... A rather sad looking female sits by a mirror, she looks like she has just slid down into her current position. By her feet is a discarded letter with an open envelope so presumably a letter she has received.... bad news??? The mirror reflects her as a skeleton and walking towards the skeleton is a young man. I am not sure the mirror is showing a true reflection as the floor is different in the mirror, like a black and white checkerboard, also the room she sits in looks rather cell like with bars at the windows, whereas the scene in the mirror looks like a gorgeous Italian balcony.  The seven cups are all around the frame of the mirror. So the mirror could represent dreams or illusions or delusions... or it could be a prediction of the future or a warning against rotting away in your prison. As the mirror is behind her it could be her past.... perhaps the skeleton is dead love, and the guy is coming too late to make things better. Hmmmmmm.... that could be what the letter is about.
It seems to be a card dripping with emotion.... maybe I will receive love that I once wanted but no longer crave? Delusions? A prince to the rescue!!!

The Two of Pentacles shows a lone woman standing with her back to a stone balustrade high up on a balcony. It is winter as the tree's are bare and the vine twirling around the pillar to her right looks rather dead... loss of faith or love? There are two, five petaled roses carved into the stone balustrade which represent the pentacles. Roses are symbolic of many things, love, secrets, in alchemy the marriage of opposites....Two of course is a number of choice and balance and it also represents duality. Well opposites often balance each other out.
The lady doesn't look as if she knows what she wants... I empathise. I feel she is looking, searchingly, either within her own feelings, or has seen someone approaching from far below and she is not sure how to react or be with them. Although it is winter she seems oblivious to the cold and she is dressed up as if expecting someone. Ok I will settle for a special visitor to call up to my balcony and surprise me!! As it is wintery in the card, I may have to go to England to find my Christmas magic!!!