Nine of Swords

I almost laughed when this card came up.... although most see it as a bad card, I don't mind it...
The 9 can mean being close to the end of a cycle... in this case of tough times. It is also a card of worry, usually needless and I really did smile when I read this quote on James Ricklef's blog:

"Worrying is like praying for what you don't want..."

How perfect is that!!

It can be a drama queen card, and although I am much of a drama queen I have been involved with the drama's of a young drama princess recently !!! I do crave some excitement in my life too, if not quite drama.  I have years of just wanting to be close to hearth and home and then I just want out. Recently I decided I wanted *OUT*.....of my current lifestyle, and that has never really gone away. All my attempts so far have failed, but to me this simply means I haven't yet hit on the right one.

I want to hit the road, be a gypsy, go back to Europe, take cheap journey's on planes and trains, just because I can. Drink coffee on platforms and do some people watching.... sit in the guards cabin between the coaches and feel like I have my own private carriage. Oh yes.....I crave those things. How I love airports and railways stations.... well, mostly, not when you have to say goodbye to those whom you love and you don't want to leave.. that's not so good.

So the 9 of Swords... what is it about for me today? This particular card is from the Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan... the woman has a bite on her neck and looks as though she has given up, although the swords are close to hand they also block most of the view out of the window, like bars on a cage. Beyond the window you can see the moon. Could the moon be speaking of deception here, telling us that things are not as bad as they appear. Presumably the room has a another way out, so the prison could be illusory.

Nine of Swords Witches Tarot

Another side of this card is that of being under attack, a victim of cruel behaviour or maybe a psychic vampire. This has happened to me in the past. Is there a Lord of Cruelty hidden in the wardrobe? Hmmmmm..... that kind of has a 50 Shades of Grey feel about it.... hmmmmmm.

My step dad is dying.....  I am unsettled and have that helpless feeling, because he is at the other end of the world, and I feel bad because I can't be there with him. I don't want him to suffer... I want him to have peace and to know he is loved. This all has a touch of 9 of Swords.... it is a dark card I guess.

The darkest hour, is just before dawn....